3 Short Rituals a Day for a Happier You

There aren't any tools that I'm aware of to bring about spontaneous long-lived-happiness. But there are a number of tools that when practiced consistently help erode unproductive thought patterns and foster an environment more conducive to happiness and peace.

Many of us have a scarcity of time and money. Many of us are around people a large portion of the day. Many of us have trouble starting and maintaining new routines.These blocks are real BUT they don't need to prevent us from being happy.

Here are some step-by-step suggestions for incorporating rituals in your life. Each of them can be practiced for short periods of time, many in your car or at your desk.

To begin....from the list of suggested rituals below:

1. Pick 3-5 rituals that appeal to you
2. For the next 7 days try 1 ritual a day. It can be the same ritual or a different one each day.
3. Allow 10 minutes for each ritual.
4. After 7 days, start practicing 3 rituals a day. They can be practiced one after the other or at different times of the day. It doesn't matter which rituals you select, or if you create your own rituals. The purpose is to develop a ritual, not to perfect a ritual.
5. If you miss a day, forgive yourself, and start-over the next day.

Suggested Rituals:

1. Write it out. Purge your brain chatter by letting it out on paper. Nowhere have I seen this better described than in The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity Chapter, "The Basic Tools". The author, Julia Cameron calls them "Morning Papers" - and suggests writing 3 pages every morning before you do anything else. It's meant as a form of meditation, and not intended to be a work of art. Just let what ever come to the pen come, even if it's "I don't feel like writing anything". These 3 pages can be affirmations, complaints, conversations with God, questions, requests, or anything else as long as there's not a lot of thinking involved. Just write, don't think.
2. Mantra. Chant a mantra anyway your like....in English, Sanskrit, Latin, Hebrew, silently, out loud, along with a CD, with mala beads, using a rosary. There's no right way - just choose your mantra (more on mantra meditation) and work with it for 10 minutes a day. My friend Heather, owner of the Roslindale Yoga Studio chants her mantra using mala beads in her car, in the driveway when she gets home from work each day.
3. Hatha Yoga Postures. Allow your spine to move, and it may be a different sequence each day depending on your energy level and location. Here are a few ideas.

High energy days: 3 sun salutations, crescent lung with a twists for 5 breaths toward each side, half-moon for 5 breaths on each side, conclude in rag-doll for 10 breaths

Low energy days: lie on your back in savasana for 10 breaths, extend arms long overhead and stretch your entire body for 5 breaths, roll onto your belly and come into sphinx pose for 15 breaths, move through 4-6 cat/cow poses, ease back into child's pose with arms extended in front for 5 breaths, staying in child's pose walk fingertips toward the right until you feel a stretch on the left side of your rib cage and hold for 5 breaths, walk fingertips over to the left side and hold for 5 breaths, come onto your back and ease into a gentle reclined twist, taking 10 breaths on each side, conclude with 20 breaths in savasana.



Instructions for postures noted above.


4. 10 minutes of listening to ambient music. Some suggestions for CDs and to stream on your computer.
5. Walk it out. Take a brisk or a slow meditative walk, depending on your energy level. Try not to carry anything in your hands or over your shoulder or to wear anything uncomfortable. The more comfortable your body is, the less your mind will have unnecessary distractions to cling to. Just let your mind go where it goes and keep moving.
6. Say it loud. Speak out-loud whatever, and REALLY whatever is bouncing around on your mind. It's not a conversation, you're not talking to anyone, rather you're using your voice to let go of what you're carrying in your mind. Scream, whisper, speak firmly or gently...just say it out loud and let it out of your mind. This may be most appropriate in your car or when you're alone at home, but I know people who put their phones to their ears and do this while walking down the street. Might feel a little goofy at first, but verbally purging and not having to worry about anyone else's feelings during the process can be powerful for mental cleansing.
7. Step inside a house of worship. Ideally, this is done when an event or service is not taking place and the house of worship is empty. Just allow the silence or sounds seep into you and feel the sensations of being in a place with spiritual energy. It doesn't even need to be a house of worship of your chosen religion. Just allow the sensations to ensconse you for 10 minutes before re-entering the busy world.
8. Smell it. Expose yourself to a favorite, calming scent for 10 minutes and close your eyes. Lavender, cinnamon, vanilla, sandalwood are some that work well for me.
9. Pranayam (breathe). Drawing from traditional yoga breathing practices, we can raise our energy level (kapalabati breath), balance our mind (nadi shodhana breath) and use many other pranayam tools for dramatically altering our state of mind in a short period of time. Yoga Journal has some great instructional articles on pranayam.
10. Disconnect. Shut of everything for 10 minutes. Really shut off. Don't just avert eye contact with that blinking red light on your blackberry, actually use the "off" button. Turn off your computer (i.e. shut down for real, without letting the motor keep running) and turn of any other gadgets, radio, GPS, phone, etc. Just be disconnected for 10 full minutes and sit or lie down with your eyes closed or softly open.
    
    

    More on yoga rituals, in this post from Everything Yoga.

    
    
    
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Yoga Poem

I'm fortunate to have the opportunity to read all of the thoughtful and thought provoking submissions for the upcoming book, "What is Yoga in America?" this week.

I wanted to share a poem that was send to me by a blog reader, Jan. She didn't know I'd already received this submission from the author. She just loved her friend's words and wanted to share them.

WHAT IS YOGA? by Krysti Lyn

Yoga is a gift from heaven and earth, a purely divine manifestation
A scared practice of natural phenomenon, a seer and mystical wonder
Truly, a glorious inner outer integration of spiritual holistic revitalization
That recharges, inspires and breathes into Spirit, awakening all from slumber

Waking up innate Spirit seeds, yoga nurtures through Asana and prana answers
As we learn to breathe, our life awakens to revelations within our holy sanctuary
And Sweet Nectar occurs as we dive into ourselves, renewing with yoga pleasures
A holy vine ripens as we become still within, flowing with yoga’s divine synergy

It forms unity within and out, calming, centering and energizing, it’s incredible
Yoga’s amazing graces do enlighten, rejuvenate and transform our entire being
As we breathe, our many nadis expand and blossom into full energetic potential
Thus, our bodies fully develop, fluently exuding light rays like sunshine gleaming

Filling us with divine yoga light, we open to yoga’s nutrients and cast divine presence
While nurturing ourselves in yoga, we surrender and let go to the divine powers of yoga
Through many Asanas, Pranayamas and Savasanas, we feel its’ influence and brilliance
As yoga tweaks and fine tunes all aspects of our being with energetic abilities, its’ bella

As we release what needs to be, rebuilding mental, emotional, spiritual and physical stance
So we can generate peace while we cultivate equilibrium within our temple and lifestyles
Fully grounded in and out, we stand tall in our body, and let our Spirit find divine balance
An alignment between Heaven & Earth, as we reside, our hearts are free, we offer life smiles

Living in a Namaste way, we appreciate and recognize divine light in all, a spiritual maturity
As we feel peace within, then we bring peaceful love into our world, honoring each person
Knowing we are all part of the Universe and offer our individual love light way and divinity
So we give praise and recognition to life forces of divinity in all, as we all live in this mansion

Yoga, a beautiful Namaste way of life, so all can live in unison, offering solace and serenity
It’s a time of world love and peace, as all gather in sacred space and practice this divine art
While honoring differences, we remain one light, as we realize we are all one, a synchronicity
Where all does interconnect and adjoin along the divine path to play our role and divine part

Yoga is a spiritual force and when one is a part of it, one becomes aligned with the Universe
As it aligns us to be our highest selves, we experience Self Realization, a gift of yoga Spirit
We actually honor of our Breath of Life and become ONE with it and then fully converse
We dance with our divine nature, so we flow with the tides of life, blessed with holy wit

We arise and awaken to the natural Spirit of Yoga, moved in and out, we align properly
As yoga teaches us, we journey to our center and become enlightened deep in our core
While it activates nadis throughout our body, we find inner bliss and mature divinely
Removing locks or residue, our prana grows with vitality and flexibility, as we adore

The divinity within, we become healthy and happy, to live the light that is within us
As brilliant hues stem from our divine center, it increases with each breath and practice
Where we clear, empower and ignite the magnificent divinity within, all through our yoga
We become beacons of love light, as gracious yoga spreads throughout like a divine service

Bringing holistic remedies to our world, we have yoga, which grants people health
A world of options to integrate and heal ourselves through various yoga techniques
Yoga, a medical phenomenon that teaches to go within to discover personal wealth
As our bodies have requests and answers, which we need to respect, as we seek

So we do open like the lotus and all divine wonderments of self unfold with Spirit
As pure yoga encourages us to move with Spirit, it soothes and delights our body
We let our divine body speak and share so we become, being still and quiet to hear it
There’s a natural way with yoga, as it fulfills our temple, we transform into our divinity

And Asanas offer hidden gifts, each one is a present, as Asanas unwrap divine surprises
For in each pose, we find layers of ourselves, Koshas, which get polished and discovered
Feeling what is happening in Asanas, we discover messages, yoga’s divine rap, its’ a prize
For we win peace as thoughts, emotions, physical ailments and spiritual ways are revealed

As pranayama and Asanas do unravel us, so we become inner harmonic yoga orchestrations
While our bodies breathe music like a flute, we make sounds and raise our spiritual frequencies
Allowing ourselves to be moved by the Spirit of Yoga and all its glorious facets, we discover unity
As we acquire inner music, so we hear and learn to form personal divine masterpieces and melodies

As we practice, we become ONE with Spirit and our temples of divinity, discovering life rhythms
Spirit moves us, as we hear, respond, follow and engage ourselves with an inner and outer life flow
Divinely, something miraculous and magical happens, as are lives become fine tuned into a hymn
As we freely sing the notes to our hearts and souls, sharing our songs, we express, so our bodies glow

For in yoga, we raise our temples in mind body and spirit, so we reach new spiritual hierarchies
As we become holistically grounded in our personal divine stance, we welcome a new universe
Yoga is a spiritual evolution, a transformational way of living, which brings a wealth of riches
And it enhances our true inner nature and self, so we gain and become our divine life verse

Yoga, a divine art form, which engages and expresses, so we become beautiful masterpieces
As it captivates our very essence, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically, it creates
Naturally allowing us to flow with yoga, we arrive into our divine selves and senses with peace
Heightened with spiritual awareness, our auras become bold, as our yoga practice light permeates

Throughout all aspects of our lives yoga does shine, whether on or off the mat we become ONE
With all divinity, a universal love light phenomenon occurs, and we are mystically guided in all
For yoga teaches let life flow within and out, a tributary to self and life, in honor of our kingdom
We honor the natural flow of life like yoga, as it moves and grooves on its own, it’s a spiritual call

©Written by Krysti Lyn via God on 1-15-09

More about Krysti Lyn, CYT Yoga Teacher at http://www.try4life.com/
Poet, Spiritual Intuitive & Reiki Master
Chagrin Falls, Ohio
Angelwing002@aol.com

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Ancient teachings and modern self-help writing can both alleviate stress

I’ve read a lot of self help books lately in my endeavor to maintain a positive attitude during this cash-draining first year of running a start up business.

Some of the books are written from a business angle, others are from a spiritual perspective and some use humor to convey their message.

But the messages are nearly all the same, whether professed by 5000 year old Vedic texts to last month’s New York Times best seller list.

I like the books' messages, however similar and repetition is good.

Over the next month, I'll share techniques that have helped me (and some that have not) in my quest to stay sane, calm, and happy. Here's the first technique:

Once and for all....LET GO

Let go – Everyone carries around baggage, negative energy, excess weight, obsessive thoughts, ruminations or whatever you want to label the stuff that drags us down, drains our energy and is an obstacle to our happiness . Every moment we have a choice – we can cling to this familiar baggage or samskara (latent impressions and patterns of thoughts) or we can STOP.

We can let go.

It is possible, but it is a practice and a process.

Sometimes it happens instantly with a single traumatic event, more often it is a long process of beginning to let go, over and over again.

As Pema Chodron, Buddhist Nun writes in Chapter 21 of When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times, she describes “We were running out of money. I began to get tense. I felt as if a huge weight were literally sitting on my head. I began to panic. I had to find a way out………The whole thing was hauntingly familiar. Why I caught it this time more dramatically than ever before, I don’t know……..Right there in the middle of a very habitual state of mind, I was what I was doing…….I let the thoughts that “only I could rescue us” come and I let them go. I decided to see what would happen without my input – even if it meant that everything would fall apart. Sometimes you just have to let everything fall apart.”

Needless to say it was hard for Pema Chodron to let go; it is hard for all of us. And yet, who do you know who has felt worse after letting go of rotten bananas? Rotten bananas? This is what the baggage is affectionately referred to in Dr. Daniel Drubin’s current best seller, Letting Go of Your Bananas: How to Become More Successful by Getting Rid of Everything Rotten in Your Life. The book was a clever, quick read gives us a step by step process for letting go of things, people, thoughts, behaviors that drain our personal and work lives.

How can we start letting go?

Today, notice one thing that you are clinging to. Perhaps a story you repeat in you mind about how someone close wronged you. Perhaps a self-loathing and unproductive mantra you recite to yourself, "i'm so broke".

STOP.

Notice you're clinging to the thought, and allow it to go away. You'll probably have to do this over and over again. The most important part of letting go, is noticing that when you are caught in the patter. Just notice, become aware that you are clinging to something, and then move on.

What have you learned to let go of? What can't you let go of? Why?

Preview of upcoming related post topics:

• Think positive...a new twist on a well worn mantra
  
• Meditate – mantras, silence, breath
• Put yourself in motion
• How to have compassion for those whom we dislike
  
• Set goals, intentions, learn what happiness would feel like for you
• Stop carrying other people’s baggage

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What makes Obama a Yogi? Share your Answer Here

I've heard the phrase, "Barack Obama is a yogi" many times during the past year.

What do you think makes our president-elect a yogi?

Join the discussion and view other people's responses by clicking on "comments" below.

A selection of responses will be included, with credit to the writer, in my upcoming book, "How Yoga Can Change the World". Share your thoughts publicly or submit an anonymous comment. Any length comments are welcome.

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Tell it to the rock

I was on the elliptical machine at the gym yesterday and a piece of music came up on my ipod that I hadn't heard for a while - it was Door #1 Energy from Toby Christensen's Four Doors Open.

I met Toby last April when he and Lisa Needham (of Park City Yoga) hosted a yoga retreat at our center on St. John.

Toby is a drummer - not just a drummer - a healing drummer. Toby travels the world healing people through his drumming. He makes music that penetrates all the shells and bubbles we put up around ourselves. His music goes straight to where we need healing. I know this first hand because he did a healing session with me that allowed me to let go of some fears I'd been clinging to for years. I don't understand how it worked but, it did. And I am grateful.

Listening to his CD's, while not the same as experiencing his drumming live is still a cleansing experience for me.

So what does this have to do with the rock?

Toby passed along a tradition that he'd learned from an African tribe that resonated with me. I've since shared this tradition with every yoga retreat group that I lead.

It's simple. It's powerful.

Think of a story that you tell yourself over and over again - but that is not productive (e.g. I'm fat, I'm not good enough to be a writer, I can never quite my job and become a musician, It's my fault my children have issues....) It can be profound, it can be a minor nuisance.

Find a rock (we do this ritual at Blue Cobblestone Beach on St. John, but you can do it in your driveway or a park or anywhere).

Tell the rock your story. (Optional: spit on the rock to seal it)

When you want to let go of the story, bury the rock.

I love this ritual because it is so TANGIBLE. Most meditation is all in our heads - but I find this a particularly useful tool for the big, ugly stuff that I can't seem to purge with my mind alone.

I'm sure there are much more eloquent ways to describe this ritual (I've been told it's widely used in Africa). If anyone had any more info, please share it!

Here's more about the St. John retreat with Toby and Lisa from last April, and Lenore's experience with the ritual from our May retreat.


And more about Toby Christensen.

Favorite Florian Yoga Posts | Deborah's articles that may be reprinted.

We will never forget you.

Friday, 1/9/09 was a sad day for the Kelly family and for the rest of Boston. We lost Boston Fire Lieutenant Kevin Kelly in collision of Ladder Truck 26 and a high rise building on Huntington Avenue.


I've been reading a book about FDNY Captain Pat Brown; Capt. Brown died on 9/11. From what I've learned about Capt. Brown in the beautifully compiled memoirs in the book, Miss you, Pat, by Sharon Watts, Pat Brown was a true yogi on and especially off the mat.

I'd planned on waiting until I finished the book to write about the book; but I've been taking my time reading it - a few memoirs at a time - because each time I pick it up, my own 9/11 demons come out. But because of Lt. Kelly's death, I was reminded, yet again, that life can be short and take unexpected sharp turns - so why wait to talk about this.

Some of my story from 9/11 day is described in a Boston Globe article from 2008 - but we all have our stories. Reading Pat and Sharon's stories is helping me let go of some of the baggage that don't need to carry from that dark time. I want to help share their stories so that others who are carrying unnecessary baggage can have another tool to help the healing process. And on a lighter note, this book gives a glimpse into the lives of firefighters, many of whom are yogis in their own ways.

I may heal, but I will never forget....

I am engaged to a Boston Fire Captain. Although he wouldn't label himself as such, he is a karma yogi (karma yoga being a pillar of yoga related to duty of service to others without attachment to the reward of service). And many other firefighters whom I've met are karma yogis too. Firefighters are a special breed; they run into buildings when the rest of us run out; they show up to the most unpleasant events, and quickly - no hesitations. And this is when they are on-duty.

But the firefighters I know extend their service to others to their lives off-duty. I've seen the community come together for fundraisers, funerals, and families in need. This is not to say such communities don't exist in other professions. Firefighting is a lifestyle more than it is a job; and I'm proud to be on the periphery.

Not everyone feels this way about the firefighting profession.

I've learned not all "yoga people" think everyone is worthy of being called a yogi:

A yoga instructor canceled a yoga retreat at our retreat center. After scheduling it and announcing it to his students, he read Scott's bio and, concluded that he "didn't think it would be healthy for his students to be around someone [Scott] who sees so much trauma".

At the Colorado Yoga Journal conference, someone asked me, "how can Scott lead yoga retreats with you and teach non-harming when he used to be in the Marines and carried a gun."

To two people I quoted above...I implore you to read Miss You, PAT and to learn about the many different ways that yoga can be lived.

Sharon Watts gives us a raw, beautiful glimpse into one special fireman's life. I encourage anyone compelled to learn about yogis from ALL walks of life to pick up this book. You may tear right thought it or read it bit by bit, as I have. And proceeds from Miss You, Pat go to Bent on Learning.


To the Kelly family, my heart goes out to you.

Do you live in a bubble?

I've spent the last 3 years in a bubble. The bubble allowed me to run two start up businesses. The bubble also created tension in my personal relationships.

From my perspective, my bubble is a deliberate boundary that preserves my energy and time. Others have expressed disappointment that my bubble keeps me from spending as much time with them as they'd like. I believe they interpret my bubble as intentional rejection. I also believe this is because they are in their own bubble.

Our bubble is a lens from which we see the world. The bubble is the lens that everything we do, think, say goes through before it is received by the rest of the world. And it is also the lens through which we receive all of our incoming data.

Here are two examples of bubbles - do you think they are conscious bubbles?

Think of a person who needs to relate everything you say back to something in their own life. You tell a story and before you have finished telling it, they recount a "better" story to illustrate whatever point you are trying to make. How does this make you feel?

Now think of when you've made changes in your life. Have you needed to make space for these changes? Was anything crowded-out in order for you to accomplish your own changes? How did this impact other people? Did you think about the unintended consequences of your changes?

Bubble lenses, like our vision can be distorted.

Bubbles can be conscious and unconscious.

Thin bubbles can be popped.

Thick bubbles can be melted.

Porous bubbles can turn into plastic bubbles over time.

Bubbles, like thoughts can be constructive, destructive, conscious, unconscious, let go of, grasped on to. They are neither positive or negative - unless we see them as such. We can be surrounded by multiple bubbles at the same time, protecting/smothering different aspects of ourselves.

What bubbles do you have around you?

What bubbles do your family, friends, co-workers, kids, students, teachers have surrounding them?

Is Alcoholics Anonymous Yoga?

Hello, my name is Deborah and I'm a yoga teacher. I am not an addict, but last night I went to my first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting with a friend who is an addict.

I was awed to tears by the camaraderie, openness, and seeming absence of judgment.

I was struck by the ways the meeting's qualities seemed to embody what yoga is all about: inclusion, non-judgment, focused attention, community,awareness, truthfulness, surrender to a higher power, and starting where you are.

Everyone was welcomed with a smile and hello. No one seemed to judge what anyone else was wearing, what they had been doing earlier that day, how much money they made, whether they were married or not. When someone was speaking, without exception the rest of the room was focused entirely on that person, almost as if in the first stage of meditation, dharana.

Although some of the writings are rooted in Christianity, a closer look at the Twelve Steps, explicitly welcomes and encourages all belief systems in the step of "surrendering" to something greater than ourselves. This is much the same idea as the nyama (yogic rule for living), ishvarapranidhana or "devotion, surrender to the the universe, lord or your own interpretation".

There was talk of nurturing mind, body and spirit and letting go of the grasping that overwhelms and can destroy an addict. This is the same teaching we learn in the yama (law of life), aparigraha (non-grasping, non-clinging). Perhaps not to the same extreme, but the principle is no different.

And then there is the raw truthfulness. There was no sugar coating stories, there was not pretending not to have felt the emotions that were felt during the stories being recounted. Never have I heard such unguarded speech. This language, these stories not only help purge the speaker's demons, but equally as important demonstrate to the newcomers and the long timers that THEY ARE NOT ALONE.

Nothing anyone in the room has experienced is unique to any of the other peoples' experiences. This telling and retelling of the stories, seemed to me a way of purging, letting-go of the old, making room for purity and god. In the meditations I practice, I include a lot of energy cleaning....it seemed remarkably similar to the AA process of telling stories. But my clearing my own baggage in silence doesn't directly serve other people as does this community cleansing.

I found myself envious and feeling left out during the meeting because I wasn't a part of this strong, structured, faith-based community. I then felt shameful for wishing I had an addiction, something I don't really understand and something I know has plagued each of the members of the meeting. I told myself, at least I was aware of how I was feeling. However, I don't like that I felt that way, and I'm sure if I lived a day in the life of an addict, I would not continue to feel that way. That was my raw truth, I suppose, lame as it seems as I write it.

But perhaps nothing more accurately describes the similarities between AA and yoga as, the teachings of "vinyasa krama, "starting where you are". Anyone, no matter how short a time they have been sober is welcome to come back to a meeting and start again. And again. You are allowed to start over and encouraged to do so, without judgment.

I don't know a lot of communities with such a powerful combination of support, forgiveness and discipline.

Quote from the meeting: "I don't know how these meetings work, but all I know is that when I come, I don't drink, when I stop coming I start to drink."

Quote from my yoga teacher Diane Featherstone: "Don't analyze what the practice is all about so much. Just do the practice and all will follow."

Mantra for the new year

Namaste and happy new year!

Did you make resolutions this year? I decided to start a 40-day mantra meditation instead...no, this doesn't mean that I will be retreating to the mountains to sit in silence for the 40 days (although that does sound tempting).

Instead I'll be reciting a mantra 108 times at least once a day for the next 40 days. While I attended Frog Pond Yoga Centre in Princeton, MA for a teacher training course, I was introduced to japa ("repetition") mantra meditation by one of our instructors, Kali. This meditation technique resonated with me.

I find saying a mantra out loud helps to keep my monkey-mind from jumping around, plus I like the sound of the sanskrit words (although not so much my chanting voice!) I also silently recite the mantra whenever I think to, and this is helpful when I'm driving, waiting on line, on the subway or other situations that can easily become stressful.

I use mala beads to count the 108 recitations, but you can use any method (chanting with a CD, rosary, etc.) Tradition tells us to recite once in the morning and once in the eventing and throughout the day as we are able. If you miss a day, the "rule" is to start the 40-day cycle over again. I'm a little more lenient with myself. More in-depth (and scholarly) directives are in the book, Healing Mantras, shown below.

The first mantra I was introduced to, and that I'm going to work with for the next 40-days, is a mantra for new beginnings and removing obstacles - it is a traditional Ganesha mantra.

Would you like to join me in working with this mantra?

Sanskrit Words: Om Gum Ganapataye Namaha

Pronounced: Aaaooom Gum Gah-nah-pat-ah-yeh Nah-mah-ha

Listen to the mantra

One of my favorite versions of this chant is Track 9:
Attracting Abundance: Mantras for Prosperity

Go ahead and say it once, 108 times or however many you like and may you begin to embrace new beginnings and remove obstacles in your life!

A great resource on mantra meditation the book shown below. I refer to it when I'm feeling stuck or when I want to manifest something in my life (prosperity, healing, courage). The author provides mantras for nearly any situation: