I'm frustrated because for two years Scott and I have put our hearts, minds, time and money into building our retreat center on St. John and starting a not-for-profit organization for wounded troops - and it's not yet self-sustaining. I love running the business and it has been my full-time focus since we started it. But alas, the cost of owning property on St. John is gag-worthy, so it has forced us to make some difficult decisions about our lifestyle to continue on our path with the St. John causes.
We just sold our house and moved into a much smaller condo to cut back on living expenses. Last year we sold one of our cars and now share a '96 Honda Civic. Scott (bless him) works full time as a Captain in the Boston Fire Department plus at least another 30 hours a week on our business. And me, well I've gone "back to work" this summer in order to subsidize the cost of the business/charity. Mind you, I know I'm VERY fortunate to have a skillset where I can pick up consulting projects like the one I'm working on now for a $4 billion manufacturing company. However, I made a life choice four years ago to leave this work and follow a more less corporate path.
So part of me feels like I'm moving back to a place a wanted to transition away from. My time and energy is now diverted from the work that I love to work that is less enjoyable and rewarding, but more lucrative. Ahh, the yin and yang of it all!!
My frustration had stirred up a bunch of whiny, desperate mental storylines....."I wish my book would just get picked up by Oprah's book club and all my financial woes would go away so I could run the charity full time", "Why can't 5,000 people sign up for the 30-Day Yoga Journey right NOW?", "Uh, I give up, I'm just going to play the lottery", "Why am I trying to run a business on St. John anway? Why did I think I could succeed at this?"....and the stories go on and on.
So I then start to think about this idea of manifesting. I read a book, a while back called Write it Down, Make it Happen. The book is all about writing down in the present tense what you want to make happen - i.e. manifest it. I tried it half-heatedly. But right now, I feel like I really, really need to get a little bit of help. And I don't want to wait for my birthday to make a birthday wish for what I need right now!
So let's test this out, I'm going to manifest the following:
I am financially grounded and prosperous with enough money to comfortably pay for running 10 retreats for wounded troops each year. This financial prosperity comes with minimal effort and much enjoyment. And for good nature, I'll say, "amen".
I'd love to hear your stories of manifesting? I'm looking for some inspiration.....