I don't like Halloween. And I'm done apologizing for it. Actually, I started my Halloween boycott about15 years ago. It wasn't a big declaration, I just never accepted another Halloween party invitation. And I'm much happier now every time October 31 comes around.
Pretending to be someone else always felt creepy and inconsistent with the [perhaps disingenuous, but ever present mantra of my growing up] to "be yourself". But nevertheless, not being one to make waves, I dressed up as ghosts, cat women, flappers, pumpkins for years.
Now I use Halloween as day as inward "dressing up". In 2005, my yoga teacher, Diane Featherstone led my teacher training class through a Halloween-inspired meditation on Oct 31 of that year. Diane talked us through putting on a series of mental masks.
First she guided us through a hatha yoga practice (truth be told, I can no longer remember specifics about the sequence she led that day), then a 20 minute savasana and then she brought us to the "mask" meditation. I was particularly relaxed that day (probably because I didn't have a Halloween party that I was stressed about going to that night).
The mask meditation began with putting on a mask of fear - exploring our mind and bodies' response when we are fearful. She asked us to imagine a fearful experience (real or not) and just be with it and notice everything about how we responded, any colors or patterns that came behind our closed eyes, any parts of our bodies that felt sensations and anything else we notices.
She went on to bring us through wearing masks of boredom, beauty, impatience, contentment and probably some others I'm no longer remembering.
This meditation resonated with me and I noticed very different physical responses in my body from each of the masks.
I've since expanded the mask meditation to practice compassion. I now put on masks of people with whom I'm not happy or people I don't understand (one at a time, so my head doesn't explode!)
I allow myself to experience the world from their perspective for a few minutes. It's not possible to do this without seeing them through your own lens; but to the extent that you can suspend dialogue and judgment, just allow yourself to be in their shoes for a few minutes. And the be sure to take off the mask!
So now you know what I'll be doing tonight....oh yeah, and giving out candy to trick-or-treaters....the part of Halloween I DO like (see, I'm not a total kill-joy)
Boo.
3 Rituals a Day to a Happier You
There aren't any tools that I'm aware of to bring about spontaneous long-lived-happiness. But there are a number of tools that when practiced consistently help erode unproductive thought patterns and foster an environment more conducive to happiness and peace.
To begin....from the list of suggested rituals below:
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Many of us have a scarcity of time and money. Many of us are around people a large portion of the day. Many of us have trouble starting and maintaining new routines.
These blocks are real BUT they don't need to prevent us from being happy.Here are some step-by-step suggestions for incorporating rituals in your life. Each of them can be practiced for short periods of time, many in your car or at your desk.
To begin....from the list of suggested rituals below:
- Pick 3-5 rituals that appeal to you
- For the next 7 days try 1 ritual a day. It can be the same ritual or a different one each day.
- Allow 10 minutes for each ritual.
- After 7 days, start practicing 3 rituals a day. They can be practiced one after the other or at different times of the day. It doesn't matter which rituals you select, or if you create your own rituals. The purpose is to develop a ritual, not to perfect a ritual.
- If you miss a day, forgive yourself, and start-over the next day.
- Write it out. Purge your brain chatter by letting it out on paper. Nowhere have I seen this better described than in The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity Chapter, "The Basic Tools". The author, Julia Cameron calls them "Morning Papers" - and suggests writing 3 pages every morning before you do anything else. It's meant as a form of meditation, and not intended to be a work of art. Just let what ever come to the pen come, even if it's "I don't feel like writing anything". These 3 pages can be affirmations, complaints, conversations with God, questions, requests, or anything else as long as there's not a lot of thinking involved. Just write, don't think.
- Mantra. Chant a mantra anyway your like....in English, Sanskrit, Latin, Hebrew, silently, out loud, along with a CD, with mala beads, using a rosary. There's no right way - just choose your mantra (more on mantra meditation) and work with it for 10 minutes a day. My friend Heather, owner of the Roslindale Yoga Studio chants her mantra using mala beads in her car, in the driveway when she gets home from work each day.
- Hatha Yoga Postures. Allow your spine to move, and it may be a different sequence each day depending on your energy level and location. Here are a few ideas.
- 10 minutes of listening to ambient music. Some suggestions for CDs and to stream on your computer.
- Walk it out. Take a brisk or a slow meditative walk, depending on your energy level. Try not to carry anything in your hands or over your shoulder or to wear anything uncomfortable. The more comfortable your body is, the less your mind will have unnecessary distractions to cling to. Just let your mind go where it goes and keep moving.
- Say it loud. Speak out-loud whatever, and REALLY whatever is bouncing around on your mind. It's not a conversation, you're not talking to anyone, rather you're using your voice to let go of what you're carrying in your mind. Scream, whisper, speak firmly or gently...just say it out loud and let it out of your mind. This may be most appropriate in your car or when you're alone at home, but I know people who put their phones to their ears and do this while walking down the street. Might feel a little goofy at first, but verbally purging and not having to worry about anyone else's feelings during the process can be powerful for mental cleansing.
- Step inside a house of worship. Ideally, this is done when an event or service is not taking place and the house of worship is empty. Just allow the silence or sounds seep into you and feel the sensations of being in a place with spiritual energy. It doesn't even need to be a house of worship of your chosen religion. Just allow the sensations to ensconse you for 10 minutes before re-entering the busy world.
- Smell it. Expose yourself to a favorite, calming scent for 10 minutes and close your eyes. Lavender, cinnamon, vanilla, sandalwood are some that work well for me.
- Pranayam (breathe). Drawing from traditional yoga breathing practices, we can raise our energy level (kapalabati breath), balance our mind (nadi shodhana breath) and use many other pranayam tools for dramatically altering our state of mind in a short period of time. Yoga Journal has some great instructional articles on pranayam.
- Disconnect. Shut of everything for 10 minutes. Really shut off. Don't just avert eye contact with that blinking red light on your blackberry, actually use the "off" button. Turn off your computer (i.e. shut down for real, without letting the motor keep running) and turn of any other gadgets, radio, GPS, phone, etc. Just be disconnected for 10 full minutes and sit or lie down with your eyes closed or softly open.
More on yoga rituals, in this post from Everything Yoga.
High energy days: 3 sun salutations, crescent lung with a twists for 5 breaths toward each side, half-moon for 5 breaths on each side, conclude in rag-doll for 10 breaths
Low energy days: lie on your back in savasana for 10 breaths, extend arms long overhead and stretch your entire body for 5 breaths, roll onto your belly and come into sphinx pose for 15 breaths, move through 4-6 cat/cow poses, ease back into child's pose with arms extended in front for 5 breaths, staying in child's pose walk fingertips toward the right until you feel a stretch on the left side of your rib cage and hold for 5 breaths, walk fingertips over to the left side and hold for 5 breaths, come onto your back and ease into a gentle reclined twist, taking 10 breaths on each side, conclude with 20 breaths in savasana.
Free Yoga Downloads
Please enjoy these selections of what I call "Florian Yoga". Thank you for practicing yoga with me. Namaste, Deborah
If you enjoy these tools, come practice with me more on The 30 Day Yoga Journey.
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 | 30 Minute Vinyasa Yoga Practice Download Part 1 Download Part 2 Enjoy this 30 minute guided vinyasa (flow) practice. |
 | Deep Relaxation - Savasana Download Savasana (deep relaxation) Even if you don't have time for a long yoga practice, savasana is the posture to be sure to include! Use this deep relaxation as the conclusion to your yoga practice or as a stand-alone meditation. Lie down, close your eyes and relax..... |
 | The Book: What is Yoga? Answered in 101 Bite-Sized Pieces Download the e-version of my book What is Yoga? is a simple, fun book for newcomers to yoga and longtime practitioners of yoga. Its short and elegant one sentence answers to the question, "what is yoga?" are sure to give you something to think about. Perfect as a gift for yoga enthusiasts and for anyone who thinks yoga is just about stretching and putting your foot behind your head! "It's hard to believe there could be so much depth in such a small package. Sort of like a modern day Yoga Sutras" --B. Weisenberg, Moderator Yoga Journal Philosophy Forum |
If you enjoy these tools, come practice with me more on The 30 Day Yoga Journey.
Tips and Tools for Yoga Marketing
Wouldn't it be great if students flocked to our teaching without having to advertise? Unfortunately, marketing your yoga teaching is a necessary part of running a yoga business. Thankfully, there are some ways to do this that are affordable and easy to do yourself.
Here are some of the vendors I use for the yoga retreat center and when I owned a yoga studio. I have found each of them to be reliable and high quality. It has taken me a while (and some wasted time and effort) to find vendors whom I feel comfortable recommending.
Email Marketing
Your students are probably accustomed to receiving up to the minute information from their employers, friends (i.e. Facebook)their bank, gym, etc. Why should their yoga instructor be any different. Email is the best way to communicate with a lot of people without damaging the environment.
Email marketing programs make it much easier to send out bulk email, newsletters, surveys, announcements and to have people sign up without your having to do anything. The most widely used email software by the yoga community is Constant Contact. They offer free trials that give you an opportunity to try it out before paying for anything. It can take a little while to get used to, but most instructors I've worked with find it to be a big time saver.
Design T-Shirts to Brand Your Studio
Have you ever wanted to try your hand at designing clothes? I've used Cafe Press for adorable tank tops, branded t-shirts, tote bags and sweatshirts. The best thing is that there is no charge at all to design your apparel and you can set up a "shop" to link from your website (also free). Shop or Create What's On Your Mind at CafePress
Design Professional Business Cards, Brochures, Signs, Postcards,Logos
As much as we try to minimize our use of paper, most of us still rely on some level of paper marketing for business cards, fliers, brochures, postcards. I was introduced to VistaPrint several years ago by a friend and Svaroopa instructor and I've used them ever since to make marketing and communication easier. The best thing is they seem to ALWAYS be running sales, like this one: 50% Off All Postcards
For a slightly more professional alternative to Vista Print, especially for logo design, try www.logoworks.com. Their prices are a little higher, but it is worth taking a look at their offerings before deciding on a logo to brand your yoga studio.
Free Networking Sites
Social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter are great ways to communicate and are free. Both of these tools can be used for quick communication, blogging, and in place of a website (set up a "Page" in Facebook and it will look and feel more like a website).
Yoga teachers, please share some of your marketing tools in the comments below. I'm sure folks would benefit from hearing what has worked for you....and what has not.
20 Common Phrases to Avoid
Another tool for your yoga and communication toolkit....
Here are some words and phrases that can easily foster negativity, annoyance and put people on the defensive.You should I might suggest, that you replace these phrases with more compassionate ones. And please do share your suggestions and additions to the list!
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Here are some words and phrases that can easily foster negativity, annoyance and put people on the defensive.
Kundalini experience on the elliptical machine??
I think I had my first Kundalini experience today! No, not during a deep meditation prologued by the intention of an out of body experience; but rather, um, ah, on the elliptical machine at the gym. Huh?!
I was a little wound up for no particular reason and I didn’t feel like working out. But I got on the machine anyway and put my ipod on “shuffle” to play from my World music library. About 20 minutes into my workout I was still into being at the gym and I was about to switch my music to Kid Rock to see if that would get me more excited about being on the elliptical…when my eyes spontaneously closed and I started to really notice the music that was playing from my earphones. Suddenly the music (Song #1 below) sent a jolt of grounding to me because of the heavy, deep drum sound. So I went with it and “dropped a grounding cord” (remember Day 4’s grounding meditation from the 30 Day Yoga Journey?) to reconnect with the earth. Basically, this means I visualized myself being connected and supported by the ground beneath me (i.e. the opposite of “having your head in the clouds”).
I opened my eyes to see if people were staring at me because my eyes were closed while I was working out. No one was paying any attention to me. So, I figured I’d close my eyes again, if for no other reason than to keep myself from staring at the time remaining in my workout.
And as my eyes closed, I saw fireworks behind my eyes, all sorts of bright, pretty colors exploding. I’ve learned some energy clearing techniques that work well for me, so I applied them and decided the "fireworks" was energy ready to be released from my body. So I let the energy go. It felt good. I wish I could be more descriptive than, “it felt good”…but I just felt peaceful and energized at the same time. I wasn’t paying any attention to my surroundings and I no longer cared if I looked like a meditating workout-freak.
Then the music transitioned to the next random selection on my ipod (Song #2) and I began to feel like my feet were floating effortlessly and I felt a warm, mildly stinging sensation in my lower back. Then the sensation moved to my shoulder, then to my right temple. I just let my awareness stay on whatever area this strong, but not uncomfortable “sensation” moved to. As my awareness went to the spot with the sensation, the sensation would subside and move. I let my mind follow my body. I felt completely present. I just stayed with the sensation.
As the music transitioned to Song #3, I took a quick peek to make sure there wasn’t a crowd gathered around me watching me experience all of this wild stuff going on inside my body. Nope, still absolutely no one was paying any attention to me. And then the fireworks came back, but this time it was like the colors were in my body and they were concentrated at the base of my spine. Then they quickly moved up my spine all the way to my head and out.
How can there be colors in my body? I have no idea, but that’s as best as I can describe this feeling of “activity”, “energy”, “aliveness” racing up my spine and out my head over and over again. It felt intense. I felt strong. Not euphoric, not ecstatic. And then it dissipated and I opened my eyes. Everything looked sharp and clear and I felt energized and alert but relaxed.
Was this a Kundalini experience?? Please share your similar experiences and help me understand this strange, good, interesting experience!
These are the 3 songs that accompanied, or drove, or contributed to, or all of the above, my experience:
Song #1: Tenfold
Song #2: I Ka Barra
Song #3: Naam Kumaree
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I was a little wound up for no particular reason and I didn’t feel like working out. But I got on the machine anyway and put my ipod on “shuffle” to play from my World music library. About 20 minutes into my workout I was still into being at the gym and I was about to switch my music to Kid Rock to see if that would get me more excited about being on the elliptical…when my eyes spontaneously closed and I started to really notice the music that was playing from my earphones. Suddenly the music (Song #1 below) sent a jolt of grounding to me because of the heavy, deep drum sound. So I went with it and “dropped a grounding cord” (remember Day 4’s grounding meditation from the 30 Day Yoga Journey?) to reconnect with the earth. Basically, this means I visualized myself being connected and supported by the ground beneath me (i.e. the opposite of “having your head in the clouds”).
I opened my eyes to see if people were staring at me because my eyes were closed while I was working out. No one was paying any attention to me. So, I figured I’d close my eyes again, if for no other reason than to keep myself from staring at the time remaining in my workout.
And as my eyes closed, I saw fireworks behind my eyes, all sorts of bright, pretty colors exploding. I’ve learned some energy clearing techniques that work well for me, so I applied them and decided the "fireworks" was energy ready to be released from my body. So I let the energy go. It felt good. I wish I could be more descriptive than, “it felt good”…but I just felt peaceful and energized at the same time. I wasn’t paying any attention to my surroundings and I no longer cared if I looked like a meditating workout-freak.
Then the music transitioned to the next random selection on my ipod (Song #2) and I began to feel like my feet were floating effortlessly and I felt a warm, mildly stinging sensation in my lower back. Then the sensation moved to my shoulder, then to my right temple. I just let my awareness stay on whatever area this strong, but not uncomfortable “sensation” moved to. As my awareness went to the spot with the sensation, the sensation would subside and move. I let my mind follow my body. I felt completely present. I just stayed with the sensation.
As the music transitioned to Song #3, I took a quick peek to make sure there wasn’t a crowd gathered around me watching me experience all of this wild stuff going on inside my body. Nope, still absolutely no one was paying any attention to me. And then the fireworks came back, but this time it was like the colors were in my body and they were concentrated at the base of my spine. Then they quickly moved up my spine all the way to my head and out.
How can there be colors in my body? I have no idea, but that’s as best as I can describe this feeling of “activity”, “energy”, “aliveness” racing up my spine and out my head over and over again. It felt intense. I felt strong. Not euphoric, not ecstatic. And then it dissipated and I opened my eyes. Everything looked sharp and clear and I felt energized and alert but relaxed.
Was this a Kundalini experience?? Please share your similar experiences and help me understand this strange, good, interesting experience!
These are the 3 songs that accompanied, or drove, or contributed to, or all of the above, my experience:
Song #1: Tenfold
Song #2: I Ka Barra
Song #3: Naam Kumaree
Free download for anxiety and PTSD
This re-post is dedicated to all the active military and veterans who have suffered from anxiety and PTSD. Thank you for your service to our country. (Originally posted Veteran's Day 2008.)
Download Adobe Flash, if you don't see a play console below.
Alternatively, download the file onto your media player (itunes, Roxio, etc.)
Music at the end of the audio: Migration
I'm reading,The Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Sourcebook: A Guide to Healing, Recovery, and Growthbecause a number of special people in my life have been afflicted with PTSD. I realize this is not light reading, however I am interested in learning about different treatments and I have a desire to effectively support people who have experienced PTSD.
I was expecting to learn all sorts of cutting edge psycho therapy techniques for helping people cope.
What I was not expecting from the book was that the first 3 chapters on managing symptoms discuss meditation, relaxation and deep breathing. Basically, what I teach in conjunction with yoga.
Certainly I've always believed these practices to be helpful...however I was struck by the magnitude to which they have been found to help even severe cases of PTSD.
Neither I, nor the book in any way suggest these to be the only forms of treatment or they can help all sufferers of PTSD.
Progressive Muscle Relaxation is one of the PTSD relaxation techniques found to be particularly effective in reducing symptoms.
It was developed by Dr. Edmund Jacobson in the 1920's. According to the PTSD Sourcebook, it is still used today and recommended for sufferers of anxiety, PTSD and I would add, those who are disconnected from their bodies.
The idea is to tense and then relax each major muscle group of our body to induce a state of deep relaxation. It helps draw awareness to the whole body in a systematic way.
At the top of this post, I've recorded my interpretation of Progressive Muscle Relaxation. It is 25 minutes, so may take a bit to stream or to download. If you plan to use it multiple times, I highly recommend downloading it onto your computer. It is an Mp3 file so should play on any media player.
I was expecting to learn all sorts of cutting edge psycho therapy techniques for helping people cope.
What I was not expecting from the book was that the first 3 chapters on managing symptoms discuss meditation, relaxation and deep breathing. Basically, what I teach in conjunction with yoga.
Certainly I've always believed these practices to be helpful...however I was struck by the magnitude to which they have been found to help even severe cases of PTSD.
Neither I, nor the book in any way suggest these to be the only forms of treatment or they can help all sufferers of PTSD.
Progressive Muscle Relaxation is one of the PTSD relaxation techniques found to be particularly effective in reducing symptoms.
It was developed by Dr. Edmund Jacobson in the 1920's. According to the PTSD Sourcebook, it is still used today and recommended for sufferers of anxiety, PTSD and I would add, those who are disconnected from their bodies.
The idea is to tense and then relax each major muscle group of our body to induce a state of deep relaxation. It helps draw awareness to the whole body in a systematic way.
At the top of this post, I've recorded my interpretation of Progressive Muscle Relaxation. It is 25 minutes, so may take a bit to stream or to download. If you plan to use it multiple times, I highly recommend downloading it onto your computer. It is an Mp3 file so should play on any media player.
What kind of yoga do you do?
I don't have a concise answer to this questions and it seems to bother people who ask it of me. For a number of years it bothered me too as I strove to find a yoga "identity".
Much the way recent college graduates meeting for the first time ask each other, "where did you go to school?"; yoga people meeting each other ask, "what kind of yoga do you do?"
Yoga is very personal and almost private for me. My home practices are the heart of my yoga. Although I love attending yoga classes, I tend to find more comfort and spirituality in my personal practice. I never know what my practice is going to look like until I'm doing it. Sometimes I get on the mat and stay in child's pose for 15 minutes and then sit in meditation for an hour. Other times I roar through 20 sun salutations, sweat like crazy, take savasana and a few rounds of pranayama. Today, my feet were cold. So the first 20 minutes of my practice were all postures I could do with socks on until my feed warmed up.
I am not loyal to one tradition of yoga other than the yoga sutras guidance of finding steadiness and comfort (sthira and sukka) in every movement and posture. However, I draw on many traditions when I'm teaching and practicing.
Call me jack-of-all-yoga, master-of-none or yoga mutt, I pick and choose from lots of traditions. And I'm fortunate to have teachers who encouraged me to try all sorts of yoga and develop my own style. So to answer the questions of what kind of yoga I do, we'll ahhm, it depends on the moment.
Here's a sample of the kind of yoga I "do" and what I like from different disciplines:
I'd love to hear from teachers on what inspires your teaching and from students on what types of yoga you're attracted to and why.
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Much the way recent college graduates meeting for the first time ask each other, "where did you go to school?"; yoga people meeting each other ask, "what kind of yoga do you do?"
Yoga is very personal and almost private for me. My home practices are the heart of my yoga. Although I love attending yoga classes, I tend to find more comfort and spirituality in my personal practice. I never know what my practice is going to look like until I'm doing it. Sometimes I get on the mat and stay in child's pose for 15 minutes and then sit in meditation for an hour. Other times I roar through 20 sun salutations, sweat like crazy, take savasana and a few rounds of pranayama. Today, my feet were cold. So the first 20 minutes of my practice were all postures I could do with socks on until my feed warmed up.
I am not loyal to one tradition of yoga other than the yoga sutras guidance of finding steadiness and comfort (sthira and sukka) in every movement and posture. However, I draw on many traditions when I'm teaching and practicing.
Call me jack-of-all-yoga, master-of-none or yoga mutt, I pick and choose from lots of traditions. And I'm fortunate to have teachers who encouraged me to try all sorts of yoga and develop my own style. So to answer the questions of what kind of yoga I do, we'll ahhm, it depends on the moment.
Here's a sample of the kind of yoga I "do" and what I like from different disciplines:
- Viniyoga is my strongest influence, and where I've had the most formal training. I love the emphasis on individuality, modification of postures and that it is ok for each of us to look different in the same posture. I know I'm in the vini-zone when I'm teaching and I look out at the class and no one is looking at me and everyone is in a different place in a sequence.
- Ashtanga sequences usually start me off when I'm doing a vinyasa (flow) practice. I welcome the predictable flow of Surya Namaskar A and B (sun salutations). And when I'm teaching vinyasa to a class of "experienced" vinyasees, the energy of the collective practice gets strong when we begin with powerful, familiar sequences like the Asthanga warm-up.
- Yin yoga is a gift from the universe like no other. Long held (5-8 minutes), gentle, passive postures intended to stretch our bodies' connective tissue (fascia, tendons, ligaments) and bones can enhance our meditation practice and give us tremendous releases in our bodies. It is rare that I teach or practice without incorporating at least one yin posture into the session.
- Kundalini yoga is invigorating and a fantastic change of pace for a yoga class full of Type A Power Yogis! Some of the Kundalini exercises are wild and involve chanting. Any time I sense a class is feeling uptight or overly focused on getting things "right", I throw in a Kundalini move to break the tension. Usually, this gets people to stop taking their practice so seriously: standing with feet wide, inhaling arms over the head and with a loud exhale through the mouth, quickly fold forward with bent knees and yell "HAH" as you let both hands hit the floor loudly. It is a great stress reliever! I also love, love, love Kundalini music and use their mantras and chants for most of my practices.
- Iyengar is where I go to learn new postures. I don't care for the way most Iyengar teachers design a whole practice around one type of postures (e.g. the whole class might be to prepare to do a shoulder stand). But I have never walked away from an Iyengar class without learning something new about a part of my body I'd never paid attention to (for instance, my sternum). And I know I'm a better teacher for learning postures from teachers who are so steeped in knowledge of the anatomy of yoga.
- Buddhist meditation and the practice of awareness are staples in my teaching and my practice. The reason I don't plan my practices or my teaching in advance is because I believe the practice should evolve with each moment based on our awareness of our body/mind/energy needs at that particular moment. Although a disciplined planned practice can be nice for our bodies, I find that a hatha yoga practice without awareness/mindfulness/conscious breath can easily turn into exercise. While exercise is great too, it is not necessarily a union of body and mind.
I'd love to hear from teachers on what inspires your teaching and from students on what types of yoga you're attracted to and why.
I'm such a sucker for a new product!
OK, I admit it...I'm a cosmetics junkie! I love trying new skin care and make-up products. As you know from some of my recent posts, times have been tight for me as they have been for everyone. So, I've cut back on my shopping-therapy and I spend money on "optional" products sparingly.
But recently Jen, the sweet manager at my local Wholefoods Body department made a few recommendations that I can't resist sharing with you. I have pretty dry skin and tend to get raw and red around the change of seasons. Jen asked me if I'd heard of sea buckthorn. No, I never had.
But now, I'm a sea buckthorn fan. I have the serum (which I use all around my eyes and lips) and the face moisturizer and I'm loving how my skin feels.
So if any of you love to try new skin care products, check these out. They are all natural and organic and all that good stuff. Also, they are reasonably priced for those of us who are on a budget for life's little luxuries.
My 2 new finds:
Sea Buckthorn with Ester-C Antioxidant Serum and
Aubrey Organics - Sea Buckthorn & Cucumber W/Ester-C Moisturizing Cream
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But recently Jen, the sweet manager at my local Wholefoods Body department made a few recommendations that I can't resist sharing with you. I have pretty dry skin and tend to get raw and red around the change of seasons. Jen asked me if I'd heard of sea buckthorn. No, I never had.
But now, I'm a sea buckthorn fan. I have the serum (which I use all around my eyes and lips) and the face moisturizer and I'm loving how my skin feels.
So if any of you love to try new skin care products, check these out. They are all natural and organic and all that good stuff. Also, they are reasonably priced for those of us who are on a budget for life's little luxuries.
My 2 new finds:
Sea Buckthorn with Ester-C Antioxidant Serum and
Aubrey Organics - Sea Buckthorn & Cucumber W/Ester-C Moisturizing Cream
The practice of saying NO
Try this out…the next 3 requests you get for you time, money or mental effort, respond by saying, “NO”.
Rod B., a former colleague from many jobs ago always seemed relaxed when the rest of us were running around as though whatever we were working on was absolutely critical to the continued existence of the firm. I was fascinated (bordering on obsessed) with how Rod wasn’t phased by the seemingly overwhelming workload and the (again, seemingly) vast importance of the client work we were doing.
“Rod, pleeeeease tell me how you are so calm right now?”, I implored as I was preparing for a late night at the office and Rod was booting down his PC and putting on his coat at 5:30 pm.
“It’s simple,” he replied with a smile. “I just say no to people the first 3 times they ask for something. If it’s really important, they’ll ask for it a 4th time, and at that point I’ll commit to doing it”.
Duh. I was speechless. The word “no” wasn’t in my vocabulary at the tender age of 26. My brain was frantically trying to grasp this concept. How can I say no? I might let someone down? And worse, they might think I’m not perfect?
So I tucked the concept away in the, “that might work for other people, but not for me” category and went back to my important client work….for the next 8 years.
But Rod’s words haunted my ever-eager-to-please mentality. Especially, when I felt taken for granted, and people assumed I’d pick up their slack. I often wished I could do what Rod would do when asked to take on extra clients that required travel because my co-workers had kids. But alas, I felt like I needed a “really good” reason for me to say no….and at that point in my life, cultivating meaning and spirituality just didn’t cut it as a valid reason.
9/11 changed my mental model on saying no (along with my sense of safety). I was supposed to be on one of the planes that departed from Boston to California that Tuesday morning. My meetings in California were cancelled the week prior for some innocuous reason, and I (obviously) didn’t end up going.
I would not have been proud of what I’d done with my life had it ended that day. Sure, I’d have been known as being “a team player”, and a “hard worker”. But I believed I had more to offer the world and a responsibility to do more than work in an office solving other companies’ internal control problems. And so I made a commitment on 9/12 to use a portion of my time, skills and energy to do things that I thought were meaningful. Yes, there can be plenty of meaning derived from working in a corporate environment, but to me it wasn’t meaningful.
In order to make time for meaningful activities in my life, I had to begin by saying NO to other less meaningful activities. I started by saying no to working on weekends. This allowed me to teach a communication skills class to kids from Boston’s inner-city on Saturdays. Next, I said no to travel on Fridays so that I wasn’t exhausted on Saturday morning when I woke up to teach.
No one at work really noticed that I had reeled in my hours, but it made a huge impact on the quality of my life. It was still stressful for me not to check email on weekends, thinking I might be missing something important, but nothing was ever so important that I was blind sighted on Monday morning.
That was the start of my practicing saying no. I still loath to disappoint people, but I’m not afraid to anymore. Owning my own business makes it a little bit easier, because I don’t have a boss. But even when I take on consulting projects and do “report to” someone, I still say no when I need to protect the things that are meaningful to me (like having dinner at home with Scott).
When invited to a social event, I now ask myself each time, “do I want to go or am I going out of a sense of obligation?” If the answer is the latter, I say no. And yes, I still feel awkward, apologetic and guilty sometimes. But it gets easier. And I find I feel much less resentment toward other people for “taking” my time.
Saying no, like our yoga, is a practice and it takes time to feel comfortable. It’s a simple word that carries a lot of meaning…just like the word yoga.
Try it out…say no to the next 3 requests that come your way. See how it feels…let me know…or say NO to me!
Read More..
Rod B., a former colleague from many jobs ago always seemed relaxed when the rest of us were running around as though whatever we were working on was absolutely critical to the continued existence of the firm. I was fascinated (bordering on obsessed) with how Rod wasn’t phased by the seemingly overwhelming workload and the (again, seemingly) vast importance of the client work we were doing.
“Rod, pleeeeease tell me how you are so calm right now?”, I implored as I was preparing for a late night at the office and Rod was booting down his PC and putting on his coat at 5:30 pm.
“It’s simple,” he replied with a smile. “I just say no to people the first 3 times they ask for something. If it’s really important, they’ll ask for it a 4th time, and at that point I’ll commit to doing it”.
Duh. I was speechless. The word “no” wasn’t in my vocabulary at the tender age of 26. My brain was frantically trying to grasp this concept. How can I say no? I might let someone down? And worse, they might think I’m not perfect?
So I tucked the concept away in the, “that might work for other people, but not for me” category and went back to my important client work….for the next 8 years.
But Rod’s words haunted my ever-eager-to-please mentality. Especially, when I felt taken for granted, and people assumed I’d pick up their slack. I often wished I could do what Rod would do when asked to take on extra clients that required travel because my co-workers had kids. But alas, I felt like I needed a “really good” reason for me to say no….and at that point in my life, cultivating meaning and spirituality just didn’t cut it as a valid reason.
9/11 changed my mental model on saying no (along with my sense of safety). I was supposed to be on one of the planes that departed from Boston to California that Tuesday morning. My meetings in California were cancelled the week prior for some innocuous reason, and I (obviously) didn’t end up going.
I would not have been proud of what I’d done with my life had it ended that day. Sure, I’d have been known as being “a team player”, and a “hard worker”. But I believed I had more to offer the world and a responsibility to do more than work in an office solving other companies’ internal control problems. And so I made a commitment on 9/12 to use a portion of my time, skills and energy to do things that I thought were meaningful. Yes, there can be plenty of meaning derived from working in a corporate environment, but to me it wasn’t meaningful.
In order to make time for meaningful activities in my life, I had to begin by saying NO to other less meaningful activities. I started by saying no to working on weekends. This allowed me to teach a communication skills class to kids from Boston’s inner-city on Saturdays. Next, I said no to travel on Fridays so that I wasn’t exhausted on Saturday morning when I woke up to teach.
No one at work really noticed that I had reeled in my hours, but it made a huge impact on the quality of my life. It was still stressful for me not to check email on weekends, thinking I might be missing something important, but nothing was ever so important that I was blind sighted on Monday morning.
That was the start of my practicing saying no. I still loath to disappoint people, but I’m not afraid to anymore. Owning my own business makes it a little bit easier, because I don’t have a boss. But even when I take on consulting projects and do “report to” someone, I still say no when I need to protect the things that are meaningful to me (like having dinner at home with Scott).
When invited to a social event, I now ask myself each time, “do I want to go or am I going out of a sense of obligation?” If the answer is the latter, I say no. And yes, I still feel awkward, apologetic and guilty sometimes. But it gets easier. And I find I feel much less resentment toward other people for “taking” my time.
Saying no, like our yoga, is a practice and it takes time to feel comfortable. It’s a simple word that carries a lot of meaning…just like the word yoga.
Try it out…say no to the next 3 requests that come your way. See how it feels…let me know…or say NO to me!
Guest Post: Yoga and Psychotherapy, a great combination
by Karen Carnabucci
As a psychotherapist, coach and educator -- and sometime yoga practitioner -- I have repeatedly observed that yoga is an excellent adjunct to psychotherapy. Actually, it's an excellent adjunct for any kind of path of growth, personal or professional, because it helps stabilize us and helps us take in learning, accelerate change and advance spiritually.
Contemporary psychotherapy has become more interested in neurobiology -- the interaction of the many hormones and other chemicals within sections of our brains -- which affect our emotions and behaviors. We know that the chemicals can be shifted and changed in a variety of ways: by medication, by certain experiential therapies, and by yoga.
I have found that many people benefit from yoga, often in surprising ways: a teen-ager who denies the effects of marijuana on her body learns that she cannot breathe very well during a posture; an overwhelmed care-taking mother learns to slow down and take time for herself; a business man who is experiencing high blood pressure begins to relax and feel more in control of his body. A study published in a recent issue of Psychology of Women Quarterly reported that mind-body exercise, such as yoga, is associated with greater body satisfaction and fewer symptoms of eating disorders than traditional aerobic exercise like jogging or using cardio machines. Yoga practitioners reported less self-objectification, greater satisfaction with physical appearance, and fewer disordered eating attitudes compared to non-yoga practitioners.
Here are ways that yoga is helpful:
Sometimes we think too much and we need to clean our brains. Our thoughts fill our heads and seem to control our entire reality with "When…" and "What if…" Yoga, as a method of uniting mind, body and spirit, seems to bring the thoughts in the body. When you are focusing a posture with a good stretch, mindful of hand and feet placement and taking a breath, there is little time to ruminate and worry.
Yoga postures also aid in releasing emotions in a healthy way. If it is stress, your boyfriend or your job making your emotions go wild, the postures help contain the emotions and release them in a safe and appropriate way. No one is embarrassed or confronted with angry outbursts, and
Yoga reduces stress and helps us slow down in this fast, fast world. When we are calm, we are able to make decisions, large and small, more clearly. Sleeping better, and therefore feeling more rested, also contributes to optimism and energy rather than exhaustion and irritability.
Yoga helps reduce pain and physical discomfort. It is hard to be cheerful and optimistic when you are in physical pain. For many people, the pain and the limitations that it causes in each person's personal life creates depression.
Yoga is self caring. Many people who have few self-care habits can begin to appreciate their bodies and what their bodies can accomplish. Motivation and dedication, rather than expensive equipment, increases a person's ability to care for self, and some of the benefits can be experienced almost immediately.
Yoga offers a comforting philosophy that complements psychological principles. It gives attention to the body while also identifying the importance of the mind, the spirit and numerous lifestyle choices.
If you practice in a group, you have a ready-made support group. Your teacher and fellow students will be glad to see you -- or they should be glad to see you in a good and well-run yoga class! -- and you will widen your support network. Community helps us feel more connected and less isolated; research studies have shown that people who enjoy a wide social network appear to be more healthy and live longer.
Having written this, I also will say that there are times when yoga is not suitable for someone in the therapeutic process, either at a specific moment in time or in general. I can remember one woman that I worked with who experienced difficulty and stress. The woman -- who was a survivor of sexual abuse perpetrated by her sadistic mother -- had been referred by her psychotherapist to one of the best yoga instructors in the community. The idea was that the yoga would help her feel more connected to her body.
The woman felt uneasy with the class, which took place in a partially lighted room, and she experienced strong triggers when the instructor moved from student to student to correct postures. Despite the gentleness the instructor, the class was simply too threatening. The woman later found relief and growth with a male bodyworker who worked with her in one-to-one sessions with other modalities where she felt more safe and comfortable.
Nevertheless, yoga is a very good thing for most people. A good instructor should hear your concerns and adapt instruction to fit your needs. I am always looking to refer people to yoga.
Read more of Karen's writing and check out her great videos at Lake House Blog: Thoughts about whole person wellness, change and personal growth from Karen Carnabucci, MSS, LCSW, TEP, psychotherapist, coach, educator and psychodramatist at Lake House Health & Learning Center at 932 Lake Ave., Racine, Wisconsin
Read More..
As a psychotherapist, coach and educator -- and sometime yoga practitioner -- I have repeatedly observed that yoga is an excellent adjunct to psychotherapy. Actually, it's an excellent adjunct for any kind of path of growth, personal or professional, because it helps stabilize us and helps us take in learning, accelerate change and advance spiritually.
Contemporary psychotherapy has become more interested in neurobiology -- the interaction of the many hormones and other chemicals within sections of our brains -- which affect our emotions and behaviors. We know that the chemicals can be shifted and changed in a variety of ways: by medication, by certain experiential therapies, and by yoga.
I have found that many people benefit from yoga, often in surprising ways: a teen-ager who denies the effects of marijuana on her body learns that she cannot breathe very well during a posture; an overwhelmed care-taking mother learns to slow down and take time for herself; a business man who is experiencing high blood pressure begins to relax and feel more in control of his body. A study published in a recent issue of Psychology of Women Quarterly reported that mind-body exercise, such as yoga, is associated with greater body satisfaction and fewer symptoms of eating disorders than traditional aerobic exercise like jogging or using cardio machines. Yoga practitioners reported less self-objectification, greater satisfaction with physical appearance, and fewer disordered eating attitudes compared to non-yoga practitioners.
Here are ways that yoga is helpful:
Sometimes we think too much and we need to clean our brains. Our thoughts fill our heads and seem to control our entire reality with "When…" and "What if…" Yoga, as a method of uniting mind, body and spirit, seems to bring the thoughts in the body. When you are focusing a posture with a good stretch, mindful of hand and feet placement and taking a breath, there is little time to ruminate and worry.
Yoga postures also aid in releasing emotions in a healthy way. If it is stress, your boyfriend or your job making your emotions go wild, the postures help contain the emotions and release them in a safe and appropriate way. No one is embarrassed or confronted with angry outbursts, and
Yoga reduces stress and helps us slow down in this fast, fast world. When we are calm, we are able to make decisions, large and small, more clearly. Sleeping better, and therefore feeling more rested, also contributes to optimism and energy rather than exhaustion and irritability.
Yoga helps reduce pain and physical discomfort. It is hard to be cheerful and optimistic when you are in physical pain. For many people, the pain and the limitations that it causes in each person's personal life creates depression.
Yoga is self caring. Many people who have few self-care habits can begin to appreciate their bodies and what their bodies can accomplish. Motivation and dedication, rather than expensive equipment, increases a person's ability to care for self, and some of the benefits can be experienced almost immediately.
Yoga offers a comforting philosophy that complements psychological principles. It gives attention to the body while also identifying the importance of the mind, the spirit and numerous lifestyle choices.
If you practice in a group, you have a ready-made support group. Your teacher and fellow students will be glad to see you -- or they should be glad to see you in a good and well-run yoga class! -- and you will widen your support network. Community helps us feel more connected and less isolated; research studies have shown that people who enjoy a wide social network appear to be more healthy and live longer.
Having written this, I also will say that there are times when yoga is not suitable for someone in the therapeutic process, either at a specific moment in time or in general. I can remember one woman that I worked with who experienced difficulty and stress. The woman -- who was a survivor of sexual abuse perpetrated by her sadistic mother -- had been referred by her psychotherapist to one of the best yoga instructors in the community. The idea was that the yoga would help her feel more connected to her body.
The woman felt uneasy with the class, which took place in a partially lighted room, and she experienced strong triggers when the instructor moved from student to student to correct postures. Despite the gentleness the instructor, the class was simply too threatening. The woman later found relief and growth with a male bodyworker who worked with her in one-to-one sessions with other modalities where she felt more safe and comfortable.
Nevertheless, yoga is a very good thing for most people. A good instructor should hear your concerns and adapt instruction to fit your needs. I am always looking to refer people to yoga.
Read more of Karen's writing and check out her great videos at Lake House Blog: Thoughts about whole person wellness, change and personal growth from Karen Carnabucci, MSS, LCSW, TEP, psychotherapist, coach, educator and psychodramatist at Lake House Health & Learning Center at 932 Lake Ave., Racine, Wisconsin
