Day 5: 30-Days to Enlightenment and Well-being

TABLE OF CONTENTS

“Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself.”

-Friedrich Nietzsche

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Day 5 Activities:
1) Mantra meditation
2) Minimum 30 minutes of calorie burning
3) Write down everything you eat and sketch your Balance Chart
4) Notice your speech patterns
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Noticing our own speech patterns can be illuminating into why others react the way they do us and why our desired results from conversations aren't always met.

Do you ever feel like you go around in circles in conversations? Feel like you're not being heard? Cause other people to become defensive? Probably all of us have had these experiences.

Never have I learned about something that positively impacted my relationships more than reading the book, Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life

I re-read excerpts from it whenever I sense a relationship is struggling...my copy of the book has tabs, underlines and highlights on almost every page.

I honestly believe that if everyone in the world followed the model for communicating from this book, we would ALL feel more fulfilled and understood.

The piece of the non-violent communication model that resonates most with me is this:

Use words that describe OUR OWN FEELINGS rather than HOW WE BELIEVE OTHERS INTERPRET US.

Our own feelings are non-negotiable, and indisputable. Our feelings are our truth. To profess how another person is behaving is ALWAYS debatable.

For example the difference between telling someone you feel neglected [which evaluates the other person's behavior and can cause them to become defensive] and saying you feel lonely and irritated [your OWN feelings that can't be disputed] may seem subtle and nit-picky. But it can have a HUGE impact on how others react to your feedback.

Here are a few more words that are evaluative of how others are behaving (how NOT to communicate):
betrayed
rejected
taken for granted
unsupported

And here are a few more examples of words that describe our own feelings (more effective way to communicate):
ashamed
morose
indifferent
bewildered
jealous
dismayed
More

Notice the difference?

For today, pay attention to the words you use to communicate. Are they evaluative or are they about your own feelings? What is your intended outcome of each conversation? Are your needs being met?

I highly recommend either reading the book or exploring the website fully. And begin applying the concepts immediately. You WILL notice a difference.

10 Things We Can Do to Contribute to
Internal, Interpersonal, and Organizational Peace

(1) Spend some time each day quietly reflecting on how we would like to relate to ourselves and others.

(2) Remember that all human beings have the same needs.

(3) Check our intention to see if we are as interested in others getting their needs met as our own.

(4) When asking someone to do something, check first to see if we are making a request or a demand.

(5) Instead of saying what we DON'T want someone to do, say what we DO want the person to do.

(6) Instead of saying what we want someone to BE, say what action we'd like the person to take that we hope will help the person be that way.

(7) Before agreeing or disagreeing with anyone's opinions, try to tune in to what the person is feeling and needing.

(8) Instead of saying "No," say what need of ours prevents us from saying "Yes."

(9) If we are feeling upset, think about what need of ours is not being met, and what we could do to meet it, instead of thinking about what's wrong with others or ourselves.

(10) Instead of praising someone who did something we like, express our gratitude by telling the person what need of ours that action met.

The Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC) would like there to be a critical mass of people using Nonviolent Communication language so all people will get their needs met and resolve their conflicts peacefully. 2001, revised 2004 Gary Baran & CNVC. The right to freely duplicate this document is hereby granted.

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Day 4: 30-Days to Enlightenment and Well-being

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Read not to contradict and confute; nor to believe and take for granted;
nor to find talk and discourse; but to weigh and consider.
Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed,
and some few to be chewed and digested:
that is, some books are to be read only in parts,
others to be read, but not curiously, and some few
to be read wholly, and with diligence and attention.
~ Francis Bacon ~

Day 4 Activities:
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1) Mantra meditation
2) Minimum 30 minutes of calorie burning
3) Write down everything you eat and sketch your Balance Chart
4) Start reading a book
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Begin reading a book...purely for joy. Not for a class or your job, not because it seems like something you "should" read...just because it's pleasing to you.

Read it at your own pace and frequency.

Allow yourself to be fully present with the author's words and the words' effect on you.

Notice your body as you read, notice where your mind goes when you read, notice your breath as you read. And if you decide you don't like the book...pick up another one.

Here are some of my favorites (if you're in the mood for a yoga/meditation book).

And this and my favorite new place to trade books and get new book ideas, www.swaptree.com (totally free, so cool!)

This is what's on my night table: Eastern Body, Western Mind: Psychology and the Chakra System as a Path to the Self I'd love to hear what you select. Happy mindful reading!

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Day 3: The ONLY way to lose weight and be healthy.....30-Day Yoga Journey to Enlightenment and Well-being

Miss a day or just joining: TABLE OF CONTENTS

As I see it, every day you do one of two things: build health or produce disease in yourself.
-Adelle Davis

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Day 3 Activities:
1) Mantra meditation (introduced yesterday)
2) Come to terms with the basic equation for losing weight - and start losing weight today
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Come to terms with the ONLY way to loose weight:

I think the reason there are soooo many books, CDs, diets about loosing weight is because people (myself included) don't like the SIMPLE truth:

In order to loose weight, we need to consume fewer calories than we burn. (i.e. eat less, exercise more)

I know, same old, same old...but that's the point. We don't like to hear this because it can be hard, boring, time consuming, emotional, you name the complaint.

And so rather than explore what makes it challenging for us to tip the (no pun intended) scale in our favor, we deflect by seeking a new cardio machine at the gym, a new strength-building sequence, a low fat version of our favor it food, a ratio controlled diet, a restricted diet....anything to avoid the SIMPLE idea of consuming fewer calories than we burn.

My guess is that most of us are conversant, if not experts in healthy eating - so I'm not going to spend a lot of time on detailed diet recommendations. If you are looking for a healthy way to eat, my personal recommendation is the American Heart Association's DASH Eating Plan. I find it practical, healthy, and non-restrictive. It can be adapted for vegetarians.

The other end side of the weight loss equation is burning calories. Again, most of us know what to do....life just gets in the way of the doing.

So our focus will be on the intention and the execution of our calorie burning.

Eat less, exercise more. Repeat

This is what I propose for the weight loss part of our enlightenment:

1. In your notebook (day 2 assignment), write down everything, yes everything that goes into your mouth. I plan to do this after I eat dinner. This activity is part of our mindfulness practice. It is easy to eat without thinking. Being AWARE of our behaviors and the full truth (yes, that was 4 pieces of Whole Foods' new sweet chili tofu that just went in my mouth). Write one, brief summary of how you would characterize your eating for the day. Some examples: "I ate beyond my satiation point"...."I felt invigorated by what I put inside my body today"..."I tried some new healthy foods"...."my sodium intake was higher than I would like it to be tomorrow"
2. MAKE THE TIME FOR EXERCISE THAT BURNS CALORIES. We're all busy and there are competing demands on our time (we'll work on that later in the month), but to loose weight and maintain a healthy heart muscle, we need to work our heart muscle. Build in a minimum of 30 minutes per day to your schedule for the next 7 days. Write it down - either in your calendar or in your notebook when you plan to exercise. I have devoted 5 am-7 am everyday for the next 30-days to this journey. This will be my time for the rituals that I write about. You may not have that much time or interest, so one hour will do too. We just have to carve out the time. Simple as that.
3. Each night in your notebook, chart out your food/exercise balance for the day. Food health on one side, exercise on the other. No precise measurements, equations required...your intuition and your knowledge of nutrition and exercise will be more than adequate. This is intended to keep us aware, not to punish or create a complex math project. Below is my Balance Chart from the last 2 days. The greater the length of the columns, the healthier the day! The shorter the columns, the more likely you are staying steady or gaining weight (i.e. Day 2 was "healthier" than Day 1). Feel free to create your own interpretation of the Balance Chart. Sketch it out anyway you like, even in words....just be sure to remain aware of your calorie intake/expenditure ratio.
   

Thanks for sticking with me....hari om yogis and yoginis...we're on our way to enlightenment....

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Day 2: 30-days to Enlightenment

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Day 2 activities:

1. Begin a mantra for new beginnings and removing obstacles - Ganesh Mantra

2. Designate a notebook for your 30-days-it can be a specially designed journal, or a generic notebook. The notebook I'm using is in the picture. For today, just write your name on the cover.

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Mantra Meditation: A symbolic and meaningful gesture to recognize new beginnings and to clear obstacles is to work with the Ganesh Mantra. Reciting mantra is also a form of pranayama (breathwork/energy movement) so I find it particularly helpful in beginning a new practice.

Sanskrit Words: Om Gum Ganapataye Namaha

Pronounced: Aaaooom Gum Gah-nah-pat-ah-yeh Nah-mah-ha

Listen to the mantra

One of my favorite versions of this chant by Dennis Gaumond.

I use mala beads (see picture) to count the 108 recitations, but you can use any method (chanting with a CD, rosary,string of pearls, counting on your fingers, etc.) Tradition tells us to recite once in the morning and once in the eventing and throughout the day as we are able. For our journey, I suggest that we recite the mantra once a day, 108 times. Try to find a time of day that you can consistently work with the mantra.

I plan to recite my mantra after I have a cup of coffee in the morning, before I eat breakfast. I commit to doing this daily for 30 days (tradition says to work with a mantra for 40-days, FYI)

I also silently recite the mantra whenever I think to, and this is helpful when I'm driving, waiting on line, on the subway or other situations that can easily become stressful.

To begin learning it, you may want to chant along with this rendition. I suggest closing your eyes when chanting.


You may not notice any changes right away, but mantra meditation is powerful and I don't know anyone who has worked consistently with a mantra, and not experienced benefits.

If chanting out loud does not resonate with you, an alternative is to write the mantra in your notebook, perhaps 20 times.

This is my translation, but you may google and find other more scholarly and literal translations. I believe this captures the essence of the mantra's intention:

May our new journeys be met with joy and prosperity and clear of obstacles and hassles.

More on Mantra Meditation.

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Introducing The 30 Day Yoga Journey

Call it what you will, "a fat off", "re-commitment to the path of yoga", or just "living well"....I'm beginning a journey.

I invite you to join me.

You may have very different reasons from me, but the reason is not what is important, it is the process and the community support......

Learn more and enroll  here

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Beginning tomorrow...Sunday, April 26...join me on a 30-Day Journey To Enlightenment

New 30-day series starts tomorrow...nourish your mind, body, and spirit...one day at a time. Practical, useful, guidance each day for the next 30 days. Join me!

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It's GREEN, it's FREE, it's FUN....watch out it's also ADDICTIVE

Have you heard of Swaptree? I've know about it for a while (actually, a friend of mine, Greg Boesel from B-school founded it), but I've finally started really using as my primary source for acquiring new books and music. There's a good selection of yoga books...but the more of us who start using it, the more cool titles that will be available.

It's like shopping on Amazon for books and music...but for free! Click on the books/music/dvds you want, and enter in the books, etc. that you have and are ready to part with (remember the yoga principle...non-coveting?!) and swaptree matches you up with people to trade with, gives you their address and a mailing label, and that's it. The only cost is shipping, and fortunately media mail rates are really low. So I invested a few hours of my time, to populate the items i own and want to trade...now I can swap my items with folks around the country.

Happy trading!

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Best Yoga Music CDs!

Thanks for the positive feedback on the playlists....I'll keep adding to the selections regularly, and feel free to share your suggestions and I'll post them.

Until the next playlist, here are my top picks for yoga music cds:
Best Yoga Music
I never tire of these artists and their magical music. Namaste.

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New Music Playlist: Attracting Abundance and Prosperity into Your Life

I've posted a new yoga music mix - mantras and music for attracting abundance (of joy, wealth, love, whatever will serve YOU at THIS moment).

I love each of the 9 pieces in included on the playlist for their unique beat, interpretation, melody representing abundance.

View or Download Yoga Music Mix for Attracting Abundance

Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth. I sat at a table where were rich food and wine in abundance, and obsequious attendance, but sincerity and truth were not; and I went away hungry from the inhospitable board.
-Henry David Thoreau

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Laid-back or Lazy? Practicing Asteya

Island dwellers frequently say, “relax, we’re on island-time”. Island-time? I’ve come to the (perhaps cynical) conclusion that on St. John, “island time” is justification for being late.

One of my teachers, Judy Baker cautioned us as yoga instructors about the importance of practicing asteya – “non stealing” – when teaching public classes (in a gym or studio).

Most yoga teachers are familiar with another class starting within 15 minutes of the end of their class. And and along with the class on your heels comes another teacher and students. Teacher and students are itching to get inside the yoga space (studio). And inside the studio, where you (perhaps correctly) think your students want to stay in savasana for longer than the class timeslot allows. Also inside the studio with us are our students, who have other commitments after our practice time together concludes.

To exceed our allotted time in such instances is effectively stealing the next teacher’s pre-class integration time and stealing our students’ post-class transition time to their next activity.

So Judy’s lesson was to practice asteya by behaving mindfully of other peoples’ time around their yoga practices. In short, start and end your classes on time. And this lesson extends beyond the yoga studio. Even to islands.

Anytime we keep someone waiting, we are “stealing” their time and placing our own experience above theirs. There are always reasons and excuses for running late...but the flip side of our running late is that someone else is waiting for us.

So to the island-folk, on the United States territory of St. John, where the culture is primarily molded by the US mainland, and inhabited by once mainlanders- running late to deliver water, perform maintenance, discuss joint business ventures, meet with prospective customers, or any other interaction – it is not in the spirit of asteya to keep another person waiting. Even couched in the disingenuous....”sorry, running on island time here”.

Islanders’ message back to me is probably....relax, have a pina coloda. However, I no longer buy it! I believe it's an excuse for laziness.

Having consideration for others is a universal trait of good manners and compassion in the culture of the United States. No amount of sand, water or palm trees changes that value.

This is not to say that we should be “on time” at all costs... life happens, and it is not always possible.

However, timing (like teaching a class or showing up for a meeting) that is within our influence is most considerate when treated with the restraint (yama) of asteya.

Book suggestions, with explanations of the yamas and niyamas:

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Savasana is to Asana what Vacation is to Life

Owning a yoga retreat center on St. John, results in my unintentionally observing people "on vacation". Here are a few common threads of what I've learned about vacationers and some tools from our yoga practice to help improve the enjoyment of our vacations.

What happens to our bodies, minds and our behaviors when we are on vacation?

1. Personality traits are amplified. Meaning that if you are naturally a routinized person, your need for routine/structure/plans will be even more pronounced out of your natural environment. This can result in excessive or obsessive planning, map reading, and discussion of plans. Conversely, if you are prone to minimal organization and planning in your routines, you may find that it is tough to mobilize and/or that your vacation takes you on all sorts of unexpected adventures.
   
2. Bodies go into shock. Shock can be stiffness, muscle soreness, stomach unrest, bug bites, etc. The plane/car rides alone can be enough to do this to our bodies, in addition to a significant increase or decrease in your regular level of activity. Plus it can be tough to maintain our mind/body and exercise practices when we are away from familiar settings and schedules.
3. "Out of element" challenges are exacerbated. More people that I've observed seem to feel tested and challenged by differences in environments. And they put a lot of pressure on themselves to adapt, try new things, and be easy going. This pressure can be stressful for all involved. do you find yourself feeling like you "should" cram in every activity, you "should" relax, etc.
   
4. You are more high-maintenance than you think. I've heard the phrase, "oh, I'm easy on vacation, don't worry about me", from almost every person I've met on day 1 of their vacation. Truthfully, I've only encountered a handful of people whose needs do not impose or encroach their travel companions' experience. This is not bad! This is part of being human. You'll know you are encroaching on other people, if you hear yourself uttering, "can you just....", "can we just..." more than 3 times a day. Usually "just" doing anything results in someone else having to change their plans.

These are my observations after being around families, extended families, stranger, friends, and couples for extended periods of time while they are on vacation.

How can tools from our yoga practice help us enjoy our vacations more? (and perhaps become more fun travel companions)

1. Just like you don't enjoy every posture in your yoga practice, it's OK to not enjoy every part of our vacation. So take the pressure off and acknowledge that just like in our practice, there will be pleasurable moments, challenging moments, unpleasant moments and humorous moments. And all we can do is breathe through each of these moments. Vacations are not meant to by 100% idyllic - just like what happens on our yoga mat, vacations are a microcosm of our everyday lives.
2. Balance how much of your "regular" routine comes with you on your vacation. If you don't allow yourself to adapt your 2 hour yoga practice in your perfect yoga space to the cramped hotel room where you have little time to practice, you may end up very disappointed. Allow your expectations to be OPEN, not set on keeping all routines constant. Similarly, DO bring some elements of your home routine with you on vacation - like making time for a little exercise perhaps instead of your regular 1 hour on the stationary bike.
   
3. Remember that just like in our yoga practice....transitions in and out of postures are every bit as much of the practice as the asana itself. So too is the transition (i.e. travel) TO and FROM your vacation destination. So be open to what happens during this travel time, and suspend judgment and expectations....when we expect travel to be too smooth or too miserable, we are often faced the blow of life not meeting our expectations. Just let what happens happen, it's ALL part of the journey. Yeah, yeah, it's still annoying when our luggage is lost, but that too is part of life....
4. Adjust expectations about your problems....our "problems", "stresses", "baggage" are part of us. They are not geographically contained. So if you are expecting your problems to stay at home, you may be setting yourself up for a let down. Let your problems come with you and as the Buddhists might say, "welcome them in for a cup of tea (or a pina colada)" and acknowledge that they are with you. But perhaps practice NOTICING when your problems creep up on you, when you are ruminating, and work on coming back to the present moment.
5. Allow yourself to be high-maintenance...don't fight it. Just acknowledge it, be aware of it, and practice compassion toward those around you for the impact that it might have. Listen to yourself talk, but don't overly censor yourself because denial and self-recrimination, will only make you uncomfortable and annoy those around you. It's ok, we are ALL high-maintenance sometimes.
   
6. Notice your body. Take 10 second breaks, waiting on the jetway at the airport, on the beach, at the top of a mountain, wherever, and just like you would on your mat....notice what you are feeling in your body. No judgment, just notice. It will help you keep your body/mind connection, and help you stay grounded.
   
7. Take a vacation at home instead of away. If you find destination vacations stressful for any of the reasons above, FORGIVE YOURSELF, you are human! Vacations can be anywhere, anytime. So take a weekend or a week at home, unplug, buy tasty foods, exercise or not, practice yoga or not, do what is enjoyable and EASY for YOU. It's ok, you don't have to go anywhere to take a reprieve from everyday life. Just like in savasana, vacations are intended to give our minds and our bodies a BREAK, not to cause excess stress...so whatever enables this for you is your vacation.

Happy vacations from beautiful St. John.

The lovely Satira (below)...a joy to travel with!

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Free "What is Yoga?" Book Opportunity-when you help a great cause

We're working really hard to spread the word about the book,Yoga in America!

Did you know that 50% of proceeds from Yoga in America go directly toward our fall 2009 trip to St. John for wounded soldiers returning from Iraq and Afghanistan?

With our fund raising efforts from last year, we raised enough money to fly 6 soldiers to Florian Villa on St. John to get their SCUBA certification. ABC News' Bob Woodruff did a piece on the trip. Watch the Good Morning America video. Read about one soldier's experience with yoga on the trip in March.

We're planning another trip for wounded Marines from New England for this fall. Your support of Yoga in America can help make this happen!

Here's how to get a FREE copy of the book What is Yoga? 101 Bite-Sized Answers:

Write a review of Yoga in America and post it on lulu.com and/or amazon.com and you will receive a FREE copy of What is Yoga? 101 Bite-Sized Answers

After your review is posted, email me at deborah@florianvilla.com with the link to the post and your mailing address, and I'll mail your free copy ASAP.

Thanks for your support! Learn more about our charitable work for families of fallen firefighters and disabled troops.

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Gremlins and Island Woes - Guest Blog from Scott

Scott (my fiance, business partner, best friend) doesn't consider himself a yogi...although I'd beg to differ. Here are a few of his musings on our latest challenges with running a business on St. John: Read Scott's post.

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Gentle/Restorative Yoga Playlist - Ready to Download

There is a new playlist posted in the online music shop. The new yoga mix is compiled to accompany a 60 minute gentle yoga practice. Ommmmmmmmm.

60 Minute Restorative Playlist

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No good deed goes unpunished?

Have you ever felt as though no good deed goes unpunished? I have lately. My quest now is to find some lessons to be learned....without having to wait until my next lifetime for the good karma to (hopefully) find its way back to me.

For the last year or so since buying a villa and turning it into a yoga retreat center, my days are a hodgepodge of running our yoga retreat center in the Caribbean from Boston, leading yoga retreats on St. John, raising money to support the charitable work we do for families of fallen firefighters and wounded troops, promoting my new book and building an on-line community for the book's authors, planning the fall 2009 trip for wounded soldiers to the retreat center, establishing our charitable organization as a formal "non-profit 501c3 organization" and working on my next book.

Unfortunately, all of these activities barely produce enough money to cover the cost of the yoga retreat center. This gets stressful, even with my yoga and meditation practice.

I continue to remind myself the words of my yoga teacher, Diane, "Do the practice and all will fall into place."

Do these words apply to those of us who are spend a disproportionate amount of time on unpaid work relative to our cost of "existing"? Doesn't quite seem rational that it would. And yet my heart keeps telling me the financial stress will somehow resolve itself.

I've tried manifesting, praying, and chanting mantras for prosperity and of course every marketing strategy know to the modern world- but the financial situation has only marginally improved. And yet I still feel a sense that sometime in the future things just HAVE to get easier. Is that feeling the positive side effect of my yoga practice, does my yoga offer me that inner knowing that I will be "ok" somehow, sometime? Or perhaps just knowing that things will get easier makes me ok RIGHT NOW.

So short of having Yoga in America selected as the next Oprah's Book Club Pick...I will probably be in this situation for a little while longer, so I might as well learn some lessons.

What can I learn? Well I'm not sure about the lessons to be learned yet...so for now I'll remind myself of some things that I've been taking for granted while wallowing in financial self-pity:

1. I'm alive, healthy and upright at this moment.
2. I have my yoga practice and it feels good...plus it doesn't cost anything to roll out my mat
3. This too shall pass...
4. I have a roof over my head and a meal on the table
5. I can get around just fine without a car (I sold it last summer to pay the mortgage during a month that was particularly tough...obviously, this was before I knew our new president would bail us all out of our mortgages :-) )
6. Not buying new yoga clothes hasn't had any negative impact on my yoga practice...who knew I didn't NEED new lululemon pants every month!
7. Being on a tight budget while running a business has "forced" me to learn a bunch of new skills - web design, wiring the villa for cable TV, cooking for 13 people for 7 nights, planning weddings, cleaning swimming pools, using a tile cutter and countless other power tools.
8. I'm alive, breathing and healthy at this moment too.

Ok, back to work....

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