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Day 1: Introduction and Commit - Vinyasa Krama (start where you are)

Day 2: Mantra Meditation for New Beginnings and Removing Obstacles

Day 3: The ONLY way to lose weight AND be healthy

Day 4: Joy-Read and Spiritual Book Suggestions

Day 5: Non-Violent Communication - and MUCH More Effective Communication

Day 6: 13 Minute Grounding Yoga Meditation

Day 7: "I Deserve" - Your Personal Self Worth

Day 8: Working With Your Fear

Day 9: Cultivate Contentment

Day 10: Let Go of Personal Baggage

Day 11: Set Personal Boundaries

Day 12: 14 Minute 3rd Chakra Meditation on Personal Power and Self Worth

Day 13: Let Go of Unproductive Thought Patterns

Day 14: Best Insomnia Tool - EVER

Day 15: Prevent Other People From Draining Your Energy - Cut Cords

Day 16: Revisit or Learn a Yoga Tool

Day 17: Disconnect

Day 18: Yoga-On-The-Go -Audio Meditations and Deep Relaxation, Audio Yoga Sequences

Day 19: Anxiety and PTSD Tool: 25 Minute Progressive Muscle Relaxation (Audio)

Day 20: Control and Compassion

Day 21: Your 10 Spiritual Commandments

Day 22: Your Personal Meditation for Stress Relief

Day 23: 15 Minute Meditation on Forgiveness

Day 24: When Your Partner Doesn't Share Your Yoga Passion

Day 25: Developing Your Personal Yoga Practice (Includes 35 Minute MP3 Vinyasa Yoga Practice)

Day 26: 3 Yoga Moves When You Don't Have Time or Space to Practice

Day 27: What is Yoga? In your own words

Day 28: Your Next 30-Day Journey

Day 29: Begin Your Personal Practice and Continue On Your Journey

Day 30: A Migration to Your Next Journey

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Day 21: 10 Spiritual Commandments...on the 30-Day Journey to Enlightenment

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“Living with integrity means: Not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships. Asking for what you want and need from others. Speaking your truth, even though it might create conflict or tension. Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values. Making choices based on what you believe, and not what others believe.” ~ Barbara De Angelis
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Day 21 Activities:
1) Mantra meditation
2) Minimum 30 minutes of calorie burning
3) Write down everything you eat and sketch your Balance Chart
4) Continue to remain aware of your speech patterns
5) Cut Cords
6) Write down your personal truths (i.e. Your 10 Commandments)
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Begin to articulate through writing, a set of guiding principles that are relevant and meaningful to YOUR life
. For this exercise you may want draw on existing codes of life, such as religion, spiritual teachings, your upbringing, your inner compass, teachers and/or you may want to develop your own principles.
Write down your principles. And remember they are yours, and you needn't explain or defend them to anyone. Refer to your Guiding Principles the next time you face an ethical dilemma or difficult decision.
This is not a goal-setting exercise. Rather it is meant to help you articulate to yourself a set of over-arching principles to guide your behavior and to support your decisions. You may choose a different name from "principles"...perhaps, "personal truths", "laws/rules of life", "personal/spiritual commandments", "code of conduct"...

This activity may be a long process that you work on a bit at a time, or it may come to you very quickly. The length of time you spend on this is not a reflection of your commitment - what is most important is that you be thoughtful, honest and realistic. You may also have more or fewer than 10 principles.

You needn't recreate the wheel. Allow yourself to pick and choose from the many wonderful principles that already exist. In fact your list may be exactly as written by, the Judeo-Christian 10 Commandments, Patanjali's Yamas/Niyamas, Buddhist 8 Noble Truths, etc.

What is important is that every principle you commit (or recommit) yourself to live-by truly resonates with you. And if an idea that you were brought up to believe doesn't resonate or feel truthful to YOU, explore it through meditation or writing. Notice what emotions come up. Notice what you feel in your body. I am not suggesting discarding long-held beliefs....but be with them, with awareness.

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Day 20: Do I Really Want to Control You?...on the 30-Day Journey to Enlightenment

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“He has a right to criticize, who has a heart to help.” ~ Abraham Lincoln
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Day 20 Activities:
1) Mantra meditation
2) Minimum 30 minutes of calorie burning
3) Write down everything you eat and sketch your Balance Chart
4) Continue to remain aware of your speech patterns
5) Cut Cords
6) Disconnect
7) Add to your toolkit: Practice compassion, by letting go of control
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If only everyone thought and felt what we wanted them to! Wouldn't that make life easier? Well maybe easier, but not necessarily more fulfilling.

Here are some suggestions to prevent people from getting defensive when we are communicating our perspectives:

We cannot control anyone else's behavior. I'll repeat that because it's so convenient to forget.
We cannot control any other person's behavior. Really.

Even when it seems like someone else is acting irrationally or being inconsiderate, they are behaving from their reality and based on the feelings they are experiencing. As much as we may want and try to convince them "rationally" to understand our reality, they only have their own reality.

This is not to say we shouldn't share our realities and perspectives of how people's behavior impacts us. However, it is impossible to alter another person's reality.
Our feelings are incapable of lying. And everyone else's feelings are incapable of lying. Feelings are truthful...like it or not.
So as frustrating as this can be, it is our yoga practice of compassion that enables us not to get caught up in a reactive tornado in response to another person's seemingly irrational behavior (remember, they are experiencing feelings that are real to them).

To dismiss or discount another's feelings is counterproductive and almost always agitates a situation. It is our compassion, that allows us understand that the person causing us discomfort is probably experiencing something troubling themselves.

How do we have compassion for someone who is causing us angst?

Stop. Take a breath. Listen to the other person. Listen a little more carefully. Then either let it go, or communicate your experience, without judgment. (Tips on how to communicate without judgment)

If the other person is hurting or angry, they may not be able to hear your reality until their emotions are less heightened. So if this is the case, consider just listening for the moment and talking at a later point.

When some people are angry/scared/anxious they will not be able to process anything you say until they are in a less exited state.

So give them a chance to cycle through their emotions, even if you don't understand their reality. This sort of compassion can be effective, not only to show you are supportive, but also to help ensure that YOUR perspective is heard (even if it's not at the exact time that you want it to be heard).

In short:

  • We ALL have feelings
  • Our feelings never lie
  • We ALL have DIFFERENT realities
  • It is impossible to change anyone else's reality.
  • All that we can do to influence another person is to share OUR reality and communicate OUR feelings
Why is this important?

It can save us a lot of futile judging and attempts at convincing our spouses, kids, co-workers to feel the way we think they "should".

Speak from YOUR reality, talk about YOUR experience, communicate YOUR feelings....don't tell anyone else what you want them to think or feel...rather, focus on their behavior and how it makes YOU feel. No one can argue with what you are feeling.

What would our relations be like if we all saw the world from the same reality? Would it really be better, or just smoother?

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Day 19: Deep Relaxation for Anxiety Busting...on the 30-Day Yoga Journey to Enlightenment

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“Every faculty and virtue I possess can be used as an instrument with which to worry myself.” ~ Mark Rutherford
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Day 18 Activities:
1) Mantra meditation
2) Minimum 30 minutes of calorie burning
3) Write down everything you eat and sketch your Balance Chart
4) Continue to remain aware of your speech patterns
5) Cut Cords
6) Disconnect
7) Try PMR, a tool for anxiety reduction and PTSD (25 minute audio)
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25 Minute Progressive Muscle Relaxation
Download Adobe Flash, if you don't see a play console below.
Alternatively, download the files onto your media player (itunes, Roxio, etc.)


Play Now


or Download

Music at the end of the audio: Migration



I'm reading,The Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Sourcebook: A Guide to Healing, Recovery, and Growth because a number of special people in my life have been afflicted with PTSD. I realize this is not light reading, however I am interested in learning about different treatments and I have a desire to effectively support people who have experienced PTSD.

I was expecting to learn all sorts of cutting edge psycho therapy techniques for helping people cope.

What I was not expecting from the book was that the first 3 chapters on managing symptoms discuss meditation, relaxation and deep breathing. Basically, what I teach in conjunction with yoga.

Certainly I've always believed these practices to be helpful...however I was struck by the magnitude to which they have been found to help even severe cases of PTSD.

Neither I, nor the book in any way suggest these to be the only forms of treatment or they can help all sufferers of PTSD.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation is one of the PTSD relaxation techniques found to be particulary effective in reducing symptoms.

It was developed by Dr. Edmund Jacobson in the 1920's. According to the PTSD Sourcebook, it is still used today and recommended for sufferers of anxiety, PTSD and I would add, those who are disconnected from their bodies.

The idea is to tense and then relax each major muscle group of our body to induce a state of deep relaxation. It helps draw awareness to the whole body in a systematic way.

At the top of this post, I've recorded my interpretation of Progressive Muscle Relaxation. It is 25 minutes, so may take a bit to stream or to download. If you plan to use it multiple times, I highly recommend downloading it onto your computer. It is an Mp3 file so should play on any media player.





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Day 18: Yoga on the go and when you're out of your element...on the 30-Day Yoga Journey to Enlightenment

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“The key to success is often the ability to adapt” ~ Unknown
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Day 18 Activities:
1) Mantra meditation
2) Minimum 30 minutes of calorie burning
3) Write down everything you eat and sketch your Balance Chart
4) Continue to remain aware of your speech patterns
5) Cut Cords
6) Disconnect
7) Incorporate portable yoga practices into your travels (FREE YOGA & MEDITATION DOWNLOADS are at the bottom of this post...please scroll down, if that's what you're looking for...ommm)
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Feel like practicing your yoga asana (postures), but you're in a less than ideal setting? Here are some tools for...yoga when you're on the go....in a hotel room, or anyplace you might end up over night. (I'll cover airplane yoga in a future post.)

For years as a management consultant, I was a "road warrior" and spend most of the week in hotels. I learned after a year or two of stiffness and shoulder pain from carrying my laptop, that it was even more important for me to bring my yoga on the road with me that it was for me to practice at home.

For today's activity, you can try out some different asana practices and pick and choose the ones that work best for you when you are "out of your element".

I've included some restorative postures (these are a must for me when I'm traveling) and some audio files for you to bring along with you. Think of what I offer as a menu and pick the tools that serve you best at the moment.

Restorative postures using hotel room "props":

I usually don't travel with a yoga mat; but instead, substitute with towels from the hotel. By all means, feel free to bring along a mat (light travel mats are very inexpensive). All you'll need for the following "Hotel Yoga Postures" are 3 large towels.

Hotel Yoga Posture 1: Legs on the wall

Spread out a towel, short end directly against the wall. You may need to maneuver some furniture especially in small hotel rooms like NY and in Europe. Don't be shy about moving things....anything goes for your you mental health!

Legs on the wall is just what it sounds like. Lie with you back on the floor and your legs straight up on the wall. Your buttocks can be all the way against the wall. But if this is too intense, move your hips away from the wall. Keep your legs straight without locking your knees. This is a great spinal lengthener, hamstring and calf stretch. It is also from the inversion family of postures (i.e. headstand, shoulder stand) and has all the great benefits of reversing the flow of energy in your body.

Feel free to stay in this posture for up to 20 minutes.

Hotel Yoga Posture 2: Restorative Backbend

Move your spread-out towel away from the wall. Roll up (not fold) one of the large bath towels and turn it into a bolster. Place the bolster in the center of the towel with the ends of the bolster facing the short sides of the towel (i.e. the bolster cuts across the towel....doesn't run the long way of the towel).

Next, sit down with your back facing the bolster, so the bolster is touching your lower back/hips. Gently, slowly, lie all the way onto your back and keep your knees bent with feet on the floor. The bolster will be underneath your lower back and sacrum area. You want to feel a DULL not a sharp sensation from the bolster. So if you feel a lot of intensity unroll the bolster a few rolls or add more rolls to make it more intense. This is NOT meant to be an extreme stretch, rather a very gentle stretch to restore the natural curve of your spine.

Remain for 3-5 minutes on the bolster. Optional: extend your legs straight.


Hotel Yoga Posture 2: Restorative Back bend part 2

Using the same idea as the previous posture. Ease the bolster up your spine to the middle of your back. You will likely need to adjust the width of the bolster to bring it into a comfortable gentle stretch. Remain here for 3-5 minutes.

After, move the bolster one more time toward your head, so that it is just below your shoulder blades. Again make adjustments to the width and lay back and relax for 3-5 minutes.

Hotel Yoga Posture 3: Downward Dog on the wall

Shoulders are casualties of long travel days and lugging bags around. So usually, the first thing I do when I walk into a hotel room is drop my bags and face a wall. Stand about 3 feet away from the wall and place both palms on the wall as high as you can reach. Keep your arms straight, but try not to lock your elbows.

Slowly, slide your hands down the wall and you'll start to feel a great stretch in your shoulders, upper back and maybe all sorts of other parts of your body. You may need to step your feet back away from the wall slightly to find the best stretch for your body. Continue to your arms straight, just like in downward dow. Keep sliding your hands down until your arms are parallel to the ground (no worries if they don't get that far). Slide your hands back up and down the wall, lingering where you find a great stretch. Follow this with ragdoll (next posture)

Hotel Yoga Posture 4: Ragdoll

Ragdoll is a standing child's pose, but gives a bit more of a hamstring stretch. Begin by standing and bend your knees a lot. Tip your chin toward your chest and slowly roll your whole upper body forward until your belly is resting on your legs. Bend your knees even more. Hold on to your elbows with opposite hands and let your upper body sway from side to side. Your head just hangs down heavily toward the ground. Just relax and breath in and out through your nose. No effort to stretch goes into this posture-let gravity do all the work. If you don't like this posture, feel free to substitute with a child's pose.

I'll introduce additional postures (including twisting and side stretches) in future posts...but this should get you going if you're traveling this week.

I recorded a few short guided yoga practices. Feel free to mix and match them or use them one at a time.

On one of the recordings, I intentionally omitted downward dogs from the flow since down dog can be hard without a mat, and some folks just don't like the posture. So even if you're a seasoned vinyasa practitioner...you may want to try it out for variation.

Guided Yoga and Meditations
Download Adobe Flash, if you don't see a play console under each practice.
Alternatively, download the files onto your media player (itunes, Roxio, etc.)


Centering Meditation #1


Download


Centering Meditation #2
(includes chanting)

Download


Sun Salutation A


Download


Sun Salutation B


Download


Vinyasa Flow without Downward Dog (instructions)


Download


Vinyasa Flow without Downward Dog


Download


Savasana (Deep Relaxation)


Download



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Day 17: Disconnect (just for a bit) from the World...on the 30-Day Yoga Journey to Enlightenment

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You are important and needed by many; AND the world will go on without your input for a few minutes. -Me
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Day 17 Activities:
1) Mantra meditation
2) Minimum 30 minutes of calorie burning
3) Write down everything you eat and sketch your Balance Chart
4) Continue to remain aware of your speech patterns
5) Cut Cords
6) New Activity: Disconnect
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Today's activity may be the most challenging yet for some of us.

When was the last time you were "unreachable"?

With cell phones, Blackberries, Facebook, Twitter, Linked-in, texting, and nearly universal wireless access (even on some airplanes now I just learned from my new Twitter pal, EliteTravelGal ) it seems as though we are in constant contact with the world. Even with people we've never met. Connectivity can be uplifting and positive....but being wired-for-life can also be bad for our eyesight, posture, nervous system, you know the deal.
Let's take a moment to reboot ourselves
Are you ready? OK. Disconnect.


Shut of everything for 10 minutes. Really shut off. Don't just avert eye contact with that blinking red light on your blackberry, actually use the "off" button. Turn off your computer (i.e. shut down for real, without letting the motor keep running) and turn of any other gadgets, radio, GPS, phone, etc. Just be disconnected for 10 full minutes and sit or lie down with your eyes closed or softly open.

Notice how you feel before, during and after disconnecting. Edgy, relaxed, unencumbered, anxious, impatient, calm.....

Needless to say, this isn't a bad idea for a ritual to practice everyday.

Back when I worked in an office setting, I used to have my department do this daily, at the time of their choosing. See what your co-workers or staff think of the idea. We never lost any business because of it and no one ever complained. In fact, it because a ritual that brought us together around a common practice....kind of crazy for a bunch of auditors, eh!?

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Day 16: Practice a New Yoga Tool on the 30-Day Yoga Journey to Enlightenment

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“An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi
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Day 16 Activities:
1) Mantra meditation
2) Cut Cords
3) Revisit previous activities
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Whew! We've been doing a lot of physical, spiritual, introspective and energetic work. Let's take a day to practice an activity or two that we liked or missed before adding anything new.

Life is a practice, it is not an outcome. Our yoga tools are a way for us to practice living. There's no rush to move on to the next activity.

Here's a recap of the YOGA TOOLS you now have in your toolkit for life:

Read your "pleasure"book

Use non-violent communication as the basis for an important conversation

Practice a grounding meditation

Work with/through your fear

Find a moment of contentment

Let go of personal baggage and unproductive thoughts - part 1 part 2

Set personal boundaries

Meditate on your self worth and power


Practice centering and sleeping tool

Feedback on what's working for you is always encouraged !! Namaste.

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Day 15: How to prevent people from draining you...on the 30 day yoga journey to enlightenment

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"The ideal energetic state is one where we have only one cord in our space–our grounding cord with Mother Earth." ~ Jill Leigh, Energy Healing Institute Founder
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Day 15 Activities:
1) Mantra meditation
2) Minimum 30 minutes of calorie burning
3) Write down everything you eat and sketch your Balance Chart
4) Continue to remain aware of your speech patterns
5) New: Cut Cords
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Ever have a conversation with someone and feel exhausted afterward even if it wasn't stressful? They may have dumped some of their energetic baggage on you. And your energy body may have accepted it with glee!
How do we stop letting other peoples' issues drag us down?
As we go about our daily activities and interact with people on any level, including passing them on the street, we have an energy exchange.

One of my teachers, Jill Leigh, Founder of the Energy Healing Institute teaches a wonderfully effective method for how not to be bogged down with everyone else's baggage....it's called Cutting Cords.

When we expend emotional energy (positive or negative) interacting with the world around us, we do this by sending an invisible "cord" to the other person(s). Similarly, everyone else sends "cords" back to us. Picture these cords to be thin like dental floss for the minor interactions and thick like rope used for tug-of-war for significant interactions.

These cords enable us to stay focused on where we direct our energy during an interaction of any degree. However, when cords build up they become a tangled mess and we need to unencumber ourselves from the energetic connections with the rest of the world. (This is not the same as detachment. Rather it is letting go of the unnecessary energy running between ourselves and the world.)

Jill recommends, consciously cutting the cords by closing your eyes and slicing them with a soft utensil or gentle gloves, swiping at the cords until they disconnect from us.

We are essentially, taking back the energy we've extended to the world and giving back the energy we've borrowed from the world. You need not even know where the cords are coming from or going...the process of cord cutting will send the energy back to where it belongs.

This is an ongoing process. Once we cut a cord, it will likely come right back (especially those deeply ingrained cords with parents, kids, spouses, bosses....) if we don't repeat the process daily (or multiple times a day). While we are cutting the cords we also need to simultaneously let the energy associated with the cord leave our bodies.

Cords attach to all parts of our body, generally associated with a particular chakra. (Learn more about chakras) Even if you haven't studied the chakra energy centers in your body, just close your eyes and notice where you attention is drawn on your body....your belly, chest, neck....

Wherever you attention is drawn is likely where you have tangled cords and a build up of holding other people's energy or a spot where you've sent out much of your own energy to the world. So just "cut the cords" around that area. If you can't localize a spot on your body that needs cord cut, do a general cord cutting and release the cords from around entire body.

Spend a few minutes cutting cords throughout your day, especially after an emotional exchange and then again before bedtime....it only takes a few minutes and reaps enormous benefits.

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Day 14: Best Insomnia Tool Ever.....on the 30 Yoga Journey to Enlightenment

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Insomnia is a gross feeder. It will nourish itself on any kind of thinking, including thinking about not thinking. ~Clifton Fadiman
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Day 14 Activities:
1) Mantra meditation
2) Minimum 30 minutes of calorie burning
3) Write down everything you eat and sketch your Balance Chart
4) Continue to remain aware of your speech patterns
5) New: 20 Breaths to sleep
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We all know how stressful it can be to have trouble sleeping. And insomnia becomes a vicious cycle because stress contributes right back to insomnia.

I look at yoga as a big toolbox of Eastern, Western, New Age, and other tools to support our lives. Sometimes Western medicine is the most appropriate tool, other times a natural tool is best.

Here is my suggestion for an alternative to Ambien...or to be used in conjunction with medicine for falling asleep.
This insomnia cure is (seemingly) very simple and definitely very low-tech. However, it can be tough to execute. And yet we ALL have the skill set to apply this tool.
Here's the whole tool: Count 20 deep breaths. Keep your full awareness on your breath. Every time your mind begins to wander (and it will)....start counting again.

You can use any (or no) pranayama technique that you like (deep belly breath, ujjai/ocean breath, nadi shodhana/alternate-nostril breath). I can virtually guarantee that you'll never get to 20....either because you fall asleep first or because your mind wanders from your breath and you have to start over.

I normally don't teach holding postures or breathing for a prescribed period of time or number of breaths. This is because the yoga practice then becomes "measured" by whether we can "do" the posture for the "assigned" amount of time. And many folks who I teach have enough of an outcome orientation in their lives and are constantly being measured.

But in the instance of using 20 counts of breath to fall asleep, I find it helpful, because we need something to help us keep our mind on our breath.

So give it a try and let me know if it helps the next time you have a restless night.....sweet dreams.

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Day 13: Let Go of Unproductive Thought Patterns...on the Yoga 30-day Journey to Enlightenment

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Your self image is your pattern. Every thought has an activity visualized. Every activity belongs to a pattern. You identify with your pattern or thought. Your patterns lead your life.
- J. G. Gallimore quotes
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Day 13 Activities:
1) Mantra meditation
2) Minimum 30 minutes of calorie burning
3) Write down everything you eat and sketch your Balance Chart
4) Continue to remain aware of your speech patterns
5) New: Tell your stories to a rock
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This morning, a piece of music came up on my Itunes shuffle that I hadn't heard for a while - it was Door #1 Energy from Toby Christensen's Four Doors Open.

I met Toby last April when he hosted a yoga retreat at our yoga center on St. John.

Toby is a drummer - not just a drummer - a healing drummer. Toby travels the world healing people through his drumming. He makes music that penetrates all the shells and bubbles we put up around ourselves. His music goes straight to where we need healing. I know this first hand because he did a healing session with me that allowed me to let go of some fears I'd been clinging to for years. I don't understand how it worked but, it did. And I am grateful.

Listening to his CD's, while not the same as experiencing his drumming live is still a cleansing experience for me.
So what does this have to do with letting go of our unproductive thought patterns (samskaras)?

Toby passed along a tradition that he'd learned from an African tribe that resonated with me. I've since shared this tradition with every yoga retreat group that I lead.
It's simple. It's powerful. It is a way to let go of (not repress) the ruminations that clutter our thinking.
Think of a story or a recurring thought pattern that you repeat to yourself over and over again - but that is not productive (e.g. "I'm fat", "I'm not good enough to be a writer", "I can never quite my job and become a musician", "It's my fault my children have issues", "I'm the only one that can fix this problem", "I get migraines", "I'm unflexible"....) It can be profound, it can be a minor nuisance.

Often when we recite a though out loud or to ourselves, it becomes our reality and starts to define our "self". This can be destructive and energy-draining when we cycle through unproductive though sequences.

Find a rock. Any rock will do.

Tell the rock your story. Describe your thought patterns and ruminations in your own words...all the pieces that you're holding on to...shame, guilt, self-loathing...just let out because it's the last time you'll tell the story. You need not analyze all the reasons WHY you have this pattern, just acknowledge and describe the thought pattern and give it to the ROCK. (Optional: spit on the rock to seal it...this really is part of the tradition)

When you want to let go of the story, bury the rock.

I love this ritual because it is so TANGIBLE. Most meditation is all in our heads - but I find this a particularly useful tool for the big, ugly stuff that I can't seem to purge with my mind alone.


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Day 12: Self worth and power on the Yoga 30-day Journey to Enlightenment

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Our worst fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. -Nelson Mandela
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Day 12 Activities:
1) Mantra meditation
2) Minimum 30 minutes of calorie burning
3) Write down everything you eat and sketch your Balance Chart
4) Continue to remain aware of your speech patterns
5) New: Tuning in to your power and self-worth
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Today's activity is a 14 minute yoga/meditation focused on the third chakra. Yoga mat is optional. If possible, turn off your cell phone and any other potential distractions.


Play Now:

Spoken word by Deborah Bernstein and background music, Elysian Fields


Home | Favorite Florian Yoga Posts | Articles that may be reprinted
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Day 11: Setting Personal Boundaries on The 30-day journey to enlightenment and well-being

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“It's a slippery slope, Carrie. Without boundaries you never know what might happen.” -Sex and the City, Miranda
=========================================================
Day 11 Activities:
1) Mantra meditation
2) Minimum 30 minutes of calorie burning
3) Write down everything you eat and sketch your Balance Chart
4) Continue to remain aware of your speech patterns
5) Optional: Repeat grounding meditation
6) New: Setting boundaries
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As yoga practitioners, yoga teachers and citizens of life, our boundaries with friends, family, co-workers, students, strangers, ourselves are constantly receding, expanding, evolving.

Sometimes we feel comfortable with our boundaries sometimes we do not.


Just like with happiness and anger, we are each responsible for establishing our own boundaries. And then, the harder part...communicating these boundaries to the universe (or relevant person).

In my work with yoga instructors and people who gravitate to yoga, I have seen a theme of people who are "pleasers". Sound familiar?

Those of us who want the world around us to be happy and comfortable (nothing wrong with that), can easily end up feeling taken advantage of. But remember, only you can allow yourself to feel taken advantage of....no one can take advantage of you. How do we prevent ourselves from feeling this way?

The Yoga Sutra's first limb, Yama (principles for living), talks about satya or "truthfulness" of words and actions. We can use this idea of right truth to support ourselves with boundary setting. A few ways to think about this:

  • If we do not express ourselves when another person is behaving in a way that is detrimental to our well being - we are NOT being "truthful" with our SELF.
  • It is NOT our responsibility to speak up for every perceived inequity or wrong that we encounter - ONLY to speak up when it is a more than a mild infringement on our own boundaries. We are ONLY responsible for and can only set our own boundaries.
  • Where do we draw the line between a "nuisance" infringement on our boundaries and a "detrimental" infringement? We don't need to expend the energy on every boundary that is bumped into (remember the story about crying wolf?). Often we are better served practicing letting go of life's little annoyances. So when does it serve us best to (re)set and communicate boundaries? When the amount of energy that we expend on the boundary we are not maintaining is causing stress.
HOW do we set boundaries while being truthful to ourselves and practicing ahimsa (non-harming)?

Again, I'll refer you to Marshall Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life book. Not only did it give me tangible tools for communication, it significantly improved my ability to identify and articulate my limits and needs. (FYI...I know I keep recommending this book, but I have not personal interest in Rosenberg's success...it's just a brilliant, practical piece of work)

Home | Favorite Florian Yoga Posts | Articles that may be reprinted
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Day 10: Letting Go of Baggage - The 30-day journey to enlightenment and well-being

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People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.
-- Thich Nhat Hanh
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Day 10 Activities:
1) Mantra meditation
2) Minimum 30 minutes of calorie burning
3) Write down everything you eat and sketch your Balance Chart
4) Continue to remain aware of your speech patterns
5) Optional: Repeat grounding meditation
6) New: What can you let go of? What is dragging you down?
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I’ve read a lot of self help books lately in my endeavor to maintain a positive attitude during this cash-draining first year of running a start up business.

Some of the books are written from a business angle, others are from a spiritual perspective and some use humor to convey their message.
But the messages are nearly all the same, whether professed by 5000 year old Vedic texts to last month’s New York Times best seller list.
I like the books' messages, however similar and repetition is good.

Over the next month, I'll share techniques that have helped me (and some that have not) in my quest to stay sane, calm, and happy. Here's the first technique:

Once and for all....LET GO

Let go – Everyone carries around baggage, negative energy, excess weight, obsessive thoughts, ruminations or whatever you want to label the stuff that drags us down, drains our energy and is an obstacle to our happiness . Every moment we have a choice – we can cling to this familiar baggage or samskara (latent impressions and patterns of thoughts) or we can STOP.
We can let go.
It is possible, but it is a practice and a process.
Sometimes it happens instantly with a single traumatic event, more often it is a long process of beginning to let go, over and over again.

As Pema Chodron, Buddhist Nun writes in Chapter 21 of When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times, she describes “We were running out of money. I began to get tense. I felt as if a huge weight were literally sitting on my head. I began to panic. I had to find a way out………The whole thing was hauntingly familiar. Why I caught it this time more dramatically than ever before, I don’t know……..Right there in the middle of a very habitual state of mind, I was what I was doing…….I let the thoughts that “only I could rescue us” come and I let them go. I decided to see what would happen without my input – even if it meant that everything would fall apart. Sometimes you just have to let everything fall apart.”

Needless to say it was hard for Pema Chodron to let go; it is hard for all of us. And yet, who do you know who has felt worse after letting go of rotten bananas? Rotten bananas? This is what the baggage is affectionately referred to in Dr. Daniel Drubin’s current best seller, Letting Go of Your Bananas: How to Become More Successful by Getting Rid of Everything Rotten in Your Life. The book was a clever, quick read gives us a step by step process for letting go of things, people, thoughts, behaviors that drain our personal and work lives.
How can we start letting go?
Today, notice one thing that you are clinging to. Perhaps a story you repeat in you mind about how someone close wronged you. Perhaps a self-loathing and unproductive mantra you recite to yourself, "i'm so broke".

STOP.

Notice you're clinging to the thought, and allow it to go away. You'll probably have to do this over and over again. The most important part of letting go, is noticing that when you are caught in the patter. Just notice, become aware that you are clinging to something, and then move on.

What have you learned to let go of? What can't you let go of? Why? Write it down in your journal.

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Day 9: Finding Contentment - The 30-day journey to enlightenment and well-being

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“There is no end of craving. Hence contentment alone is the best way to happiness. Therefore, acquire contentment.”
-Swami Sivananda
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Day 9 Activities:
1) Mantra meditation
2) Minimum 30 minutes of calorie burning
3) Write down everything you eat and sketch your Balance Chart
4) Continue to remain aware of your speech patterns
5) Optional: Repeat grounding meditation
6) New: Notice contentment in your life
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Are you experiencing financial uncertainty or desperation, battling a health situation, or any other personal stresses?

Finding Santosha (contentment) may seem difficult right now.

But here is what I love about the santosha....

Santosha is not translated as elation, bliss, or happiness. It is translated as "contentment". I find it more reasonable, but perhaps not as recognizable to experience santosha.

This is what contentment means, to me:

  1. Being OK at this moment...or knowing that at some point in the future you will be OK again
  2. Finding perspective
  3. Being at ease
The thing about santosha is that you don't always notice it. This is because we tend to be socialized and habituated to exist in more extreme states of being. Sometimes fleeting moments of santosha, or even days and months of santosha are with us, but we do not notice because we are seeking (grasping) something more dramatic.

I offer this suggestion for today, even in the midst of troubling times...keep your senses open to noticing moments of contentment and when they come and go; as you become aware of these moments, allow yourself gratitude that a particular moment was OK.

This may not solve the world's problems or even your own, but not everything can or needs to be solved right at this moment. Perhaps however, the more individual and collective moments of contentment we live the more readily problems will resolve.

Another way to reinforce this "noticing of contentment" is as follows:

So today, when someone asks you "What's new?"
...rather than furiously searching your brain for a dramatically "good" or "bad" event to report.....respond with, "I'm content at this moment".

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One more time....supporting our troops does not equate promoting war

Here is an email I received about the the Yoga Patriot t-shirts whose proceeds support wounded troops:

"What about the innocent civilians killed by US troops?

This is a travesty, promoting yoga and war together. I think you’ve completely missed the point of yoga. If your T-shirts said Yogis for Peace, I would buy one.

Maureen [last name removed]
"

Here are 2 other examples of similar of hypocrisy.

And my response to Maureen (and the future hate mailers)....I respect different opinions. I do not respect hypocrisy and righteous indignation. To be unable to differentiate between "promoting war" and "volunteering to help our wounded troops" is simpleminded, at best. I love my country. I tear up when I hear the national anthem, because I know many have died to allow us the right to stand, cover our hears and sing it. I love my fiance who is a Marine Corps veteran. I appreciate that members of our armed forces perform jobs that most of us are afraid to do. I do not like war. I certainly don't promote war. I do value freedom. When our freedom is threatened, our troops protect us. Some of our boys, men, girls and women, loose limbs and others die protecting us. Many troops hate war. Many troops disagree with past and present administration policies on war. I am grateful to live in a country where a few brave people are willing to lay down their lives to protect us and allow us the freedom to practice yoga.

Aggggg.....I've gotta breathe.....

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Day 8: Working with Fear - The 30-day journey to enlightenment and well-being

Miss a day, or just joining: TABLE OF CONTENTS

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Day 8 Activities:
1) Mantra meditation
2) Minimum 30 minutes of calorie burning
3) Write down everything you eat and sketch your Balance Chart
4) Continue to remain aware of your speech patterns
5) Optional: Repeat grounding meditation
6) New: Sitting with fear
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Ultimately we know deeply that the other side of every fear is a freedom.
-Marilyn Ferguson

It is human and natural to experience fear. It it not necessary for fear to be the driver of our thought and actions.

Fear can arise from trauma. Fear can also arise from the perception or anticipation of being "out of control", from feeling "trapped", without options, experiencing or anticipating changes and many other circumstances unique to each of us.

We all experience fear and we always have options for how to work with it.

Begin with a self exploration of your relationship to fear. This can be in your notebook or sitting quietly. Recall a time when you were afraid (not recommended for this exercise to use a physically or emotionally traumatic experience). Perhaps your job was in jeopardy, perhaps a loved one was gravely ill, perhaps your spouse was very late getting home without calling.

As you recall the experience, notice what emotions come up....anger, unfairness, numbness, rage, defeat, need to retreat....

Notice what happens on a physical level to your body and your breath. Do parts of your body tense, do you hold your breath, do you fidget, do you become statue-like, do you shrivel up, do you expand?

Just begin to notice how you naturally react to fear - please try to do this without judgment. The intention of the exercise is to become more aware of your body and emotions' response to fear. Knowing this will help allow you to be more aware of your fear-response when you begin to meditate with fear.

I find comfort and support from the Buddhist teachings on fear.

The Buddhists talk about "leaning into fear", "inviting fear in", "staying with fear", "talking to your fear".

And equally important is softening our breath and our hearts around fear. This may seem counter to what many of us are taught about confronting fear.

But here is why it is important to soften. Fear is OUR feeling it is within us. It cannot be given to the place or person whence it came or where it is directed. Our fear is OURS. So to lash out and confront our fear internally is much more destructive and energy expending than letting the fear visit for a while.

This different from suggesting to be passive and not address external factors causing the fear. This is about how to deal with the internal fear. And to attack our fear internally is to attack ourselves from the inside out.

So how do we sit with the fear? It can be very uncomfortable. And it can be hard to let the fear "be" with us without tensing and fixating on elements of the fear.

But as with all emotions and situations....they all pass. The fear will pas too. It just need the space and the time to cycle through its course. So to deny fear space and think we can control our emotions and feelings, is to attempt to work against nature.

And so we sit quietly with our fear. But it's a practice. And we don't have to get it "right" the first or the thousandth time.

When your mind starts to fixate or push away the fear. Gently, forgivingly bring yourself back to sitting with the fear and just letting it have it's time.

Like it your not, your fear is part of you. Anytime we try to deny a part of ourselves it doesn't go away - it shifts and morphs and festers and can remain stagnant, feeding off of our energy until we allow ourselves to recognize it.

So give the "sitting with fear" meditation a try. It can be very scary and uncomfortable, but remember that you're just allowing the fear to have it's say and then it will eventually pass. It just needs to be heard, as do all of the parts of you. Your heart, your health, your back....we listen to them. Listen to the fear too.

A must-read for learning to work with fear is The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times by Pema Chodron.

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Yoga Patriots support Wounded Warriors - Great yoga gifts for a great cause!

Yoga Patriot T-shirts, bibs, hats and tote bags



100% of proceeds from Yoga Patriot products support wounded troops; specifically the retreat that we are hosting at Florian Villa this fall.

1,000 t-shirt sales = airfare for one soldier to Florian Villa

We plan to host 6 soldiers....help make this possible. Here's an ABC News Good Morning America clip about the trip we just sponsored in March 2009.

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Day 7: "I deserve" on the journey of 30-Days to Enlightenment and Well-Being

Miss a day, or just joining: TABLE OF CONTENTS

You can explore the universe looking for somebody who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and you will not find that person anywhere.
-Buddhist saying
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Day 7 Activities:
1) Mantra meditation
2) Minimum 30 minutes of calorie burning
3) Write down everything you eat and sketch your Balance Chart
4) Continue to remain aware of your speech patterns
5) Optional: Repeat grounding meditation
6) New: Exercise on deserving
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Everyone deserves pleasure, grace, nurturing, health, the ability to change and many more of the universes' wonders.

Those of us in care-giving professions, parents, people who have been raised to put others' needs first can have a difficulty time cultivating a sense of deserving. It is also common to take on other people's issues and feel drained after exploring a a client, friend, stranger's issues....empathy can be in overdrive. (bloated 2nd chakra)

Others who have been taught to over indulge and "look out for number 1" may have a difficult time experiencing sympathy for those around them, even those whom they care about greatly. This can be (mis) perceived as indifference, self-absorption or an inability to connect. It may also be an over compensation for feeling as though we are un-deserving. (constricted 2nd chakra)

Tune in to where you fall on this spectrum. And over the next week or so, ask people whom you trust where they think you fall.

Using your journal, write down a list of at least 20 things that you deserve, starting with the basics like a roof over your head and keep writing....perhaps adding ideas like, to be spoken to kindly, to have time to myself, to eat healthy foods, etc.

Just write, don't think to much, no one is evaluating what you write - just be honest with yourself and remember to write the words, "I deserve" at the beginning of each new thought. Keep writing...you may have a (hopefully) long list...because YOU ARE DESERVING.

Make a little notation next to the "I deserves" that you fully cultivate in your life right now. And make a different notation next to the "I deserves" that you want to be more aware of cultivating where perhaps you have denied your rights to deserving.

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